


I Run.. (To You)

by NiamsPotato



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-02-16 12:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2270625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamsPotato/pseuds/NiamsPotato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall meets the love of his life - he just doesn't really understand that it's love. Liam knows from the instant he meets Niall that he's the one. Zayn is attracted to guys but he's definitely not gay. Harry is a happy go-lucky fellow that falls in love easily. And Louis.. Well, he's got a girlfriend that he's happy with.. so who cares if he gets butterflies around other guys?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about any mistakes... And yeah, it's the beginning, so it's rather quite boring.. Hopefully it'll be much more interesting as the story progress.

_I woke up, and saw that the sun was shining. Of course it was, because I litterally had the sun sleeping next to me. I didn't even realise what would happen when I got here, but I'm so glad I decided to jump at this opportunity. To be here next to him. That we were room mates. And now he was my boyfriend. Boyfriend. I've got a boyfriend. Me! It's so weird, like. I didn't even knew I liked boys until I met him. And now he was lying next to me. To just feel his heart beating, his warmth, and smell his unique smell. That was just... him._

 

****Niall****

 

**Have you got what it takes? Are you male, born 1989-1993? (you can apply if you're born in 1994, but we need your parents consent).  Can you sing, write music, or play an instrument? Can you dance? If so, please come and see me (Mr. Cowell) and/or my assistant, Mr. Walsh, in London or Dublin. Convent Garden London/The Point Dublin, June 16th between 1100-1700.**

 

I stared at the ad. It looked genuine enough, although I had no idea who this Mr. Cowell or Mr. Walsh were. I decided to ask my dad if I could go anyway, although it looked like I didn't need his consent or anything. I don't know why, to be honest. I was still just 16, although I'd just turn 17 in a few months. So, I knew how to play an instrument, and although I don't think I'm the best singer in the world, I knew how to hold a tune. When it came to writing music, I've written a few soppy love songs with equal soppy melodies. I could dance - sort of. Did Irish jig dancing count? Or jumping around with my mates? Did that count as dancing? Did I have to do  _everything_ they asked for in the ad?

"What are you looking at so intently, son?"

"Dad! I.. nothing."

It didn't seem like the right time, somehow. Not that I thought he'd deny me to go to Dublin or anything, but if I had to go to the London, I'm sure we'd have ... words. 

"It doesn't seem like nothing?" He quirked his eyebrows up at me, his eyes who looked exactly like mine.

"It's just... not the time, I think?" I frowned a little, which made him smile at me.

"Nialler, don't you understand that you can talk to me about everything, anything and nothing? It doesn't matter if you think it's not the right time.. I'll always make time for you." 

"Yeah." I coughed a little. "It's just, this ad. In the paper." I shoved the paper towards him and pointed to the ad. He read the ad carefully, but he didn't show any emotions as he usually did. I couldn't tell if he was enjoying it, if he was happy, angry, or saddened by the mere thought of me leaving him behind a little sooner than anticipated. 

"Is this what you want?" Dad finally asked, and I have to admit, I was a little... unprepared for the question.

"Yeah. Yeah, this is what I want." 

"Okay. Well, I can't drive you, so.. you'd either have to take the train or bus to Dublin. Unfortunately.. by yourself."

"That's okay."

"Just.. don't get lost, alright?"

"I won't." I smiled widely.

"Because.. y'know.. I love ya, Nialler."

"I know. I love ya too... Bob." I winked at him, as he chuckled. 

 

 

Taking the bus to Dublin by myself is slightly.. boring. I didn't even know where the Point was, but I was determined. I had my guitar with me, and I was ready to smash it. At least, I hoped I could smash it.

I was standing in line, waiting for my turn. I didn't really look at anyone, or talk to anyone, which is so unlike me. I am a social butterfly after all. I walk to the little stage with hundreds of guys watching me, and sitting in a chair that looked like some sort of throne, must've been Mr. Walsh. He was the one I had to impress, after all. 

"Hi, who are you, how old are you, and what are you going to sing?" 

"I'm Niall, I'm 16, turn 17 in a few months, and I'm going to sing a sing a song I've written meself."

"Niall what? And what's the song called?" He smiled slightly.

"Oh." I blushed a little. "Niall Horan, and the song is called 'I run to you'."

"Whenever you're ready." He smiled even bigger now, and I have to take a deep breath before I start to strum my guitar, and start to sing. 

 

 

_I run from hate_

_I run from prejudice_

_I run from pessimists, but I run too late_

_I run my life or is it running me, run from my past_

_I run too fast or too slow it seems_

 

_When lies become the truth_

_That's when I run to you_

 

_This world keeps spinning faster_

_Into a new disaster so I run to you_

_I run to you baby_

_When it all starts coming undone_

_Baby you're the one I run to_

_I run to you_

 

"Thank you." Mr. Walsh nods, smiles. "Just wait here." He smiles, as he disappears. He hasn't done this for anyone yet, and I don't know if it's a good thing, or a bad. All I know is, I want to run away. Why the hell did I think I could handle _this_? If only dad was here, or Greg, or even my mam. Or Sean. Yeah, Sean... The mere thought of Sean seemed to do the trick to calm me down slightly, and before I knew it, Mr. Walsh was back. Smiling so broadly, which made me see all his teeth. I don't know if this is a good sign or not.

"Just go through that door, Niall Horan." He points to the brown door that looks like it's going straight through to the street. He gives me a little wink, and I look around to all the other guys around, but it doesn't seem like they realise that he winked at me. Some snigger though, because just like me, they seem to realise that the door is the 'emergency exit', although there's no emergency exit sign in sight.

I just nod, and take a few stumbling steps forward to go through the door, heart hammering away and I almost drop my guitar due to my sweaty hands. I bite my lip, as I slowly open the door, expecting to see the pavement, but what shocks me is the size of the office.

"Please, close the door." A male voice comes from nowhere, and I give out a little manly squeak. "And welcome to your future, Niall Horan." 

 

****Liam****

 

"What's your name, how old are you, and what are you going to sing?"

"My name's Liam Payne, I'm 16 and I'm going to sing 'Cry me a river'."

"Whenever you're ready."

I take a deep breath, trying to remember the words, not looking at anyone in particular. 

 

_Now you say you're lonely_

_You cry the whole night through_

_Well you can cry me a river_

_Cry me a river_

_I cried a river over you_

_Now you say that you love me_

_Just to prove that you do_

_Come on and cry me a river_

_Cry me a river_

_I cried a river over you_

 

"Thank you, Liam."

I nod, and just as I'm about to go to where the other guys went after they've auditioned, the man in the black, he spoke to me again. 

"Not there, Liam. Go through that door, please." 

Tears are almost spilling over. He hated me. I knew it. 

He winked a little, as he he gestured to the door, and I saw a few of the other guys there sniggering. As I turn around, I saw a guy with curly hair smile big at me. I try and smile back at him, but I'm sure I'm just frowning away. It doesn't seem to bother him at all, though. 

I almost flinch when I see a guy with raven black hair, with amber brown eyes, and a kind smile, and another boy with a brown hair. They both look at me like I've got three heads or something. I just go and walk over to the other side of the room, not bothering to acknowledge them. They don't acknowledge me either, so..

Not two minutes have passed before the door opened again, and I see the curly guy standing there. Smiling brightly. 

"Hi! I'm Harry!" 

 

****Harry****

 

I am almost blown away by the voice of the guy who is singing before me. He told the man in black that his name was Liam, and just for a second, I am totally aware that he could be my big competition, or we could become the best of mates. My mum always told me I've got a great singing voice, and I suppose I just wanted to find out if she had a valid point or not. 

Some guys sniggers when the man in black points Liam to the door, but I smile at him. I thought he was awesome. He smiles back, and he's got a sweet smile. 

"What's your name, how old are you, and what are you going to sing?" 

"I'm Harry Styles, I'm 16 - and I've got my mum's signature that I can be here. I'm going to sing 'Isn't she lovely' by Stevie Wonder."

 

_Isn't she lovely?_

_Isn't she wonderful?_

_Isn't she precious?_

_Less than one minute old_

_I never thought through love we'd be_

_Making as one as lovely as she_

_But isn't she lovely made from love?_

 

"Thank you. If you could just go through that door..." The man in black says, and I just nod. He winks at me, and I'm sure my smile is even brigher than the sun right now. 

I open the door, and see some sort of God-like creature standing in the corner, with what I only can assume is his friend with him. On the other side of the room, is Liam, and my smile just got even bigger. As I close the door, and eye the three other people in the room, I'm saying the only thing that comes to my mind. "Hi! I'm Harry!"

 

 

****Louis****

 

This is just wonderful! Wonderful, I tell ya! I've been here for three days already, and just under five minutes two more guys have joined Zayn and me. Zayn has been here for a week already. I know I eye the first guy a little harshly, but the third guy, with his smile as big as the sun.. I sort of just kind of tap Zayn, because I know for a fact that this guy is just his type, although he seems a little young.  Hell, he could even my kind of guy, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I mean. Not that I've ever thought of myself settling down with her or anything.. But yeah.. 

"Hi!" I smile, and his smile just stays the same. "I'm Louis, and this is Zayn." 

Zayn just sort of flinch into himself a little, which told me he really fancied this guy.

"Liam," the other guy just murmured. I didn't really look at him to be honest. 

"Nice to meet you, Harry and Liam." I smile.

"D'ya know if someone else is coming here?" Zayn whispers.

Liam shook his head. "I was like, number 500. As far as I know, I'm the first to go through this dor..." 

"Do you like, think, we're through to the next rounds, or...?" I ask, looking at the three of them.

"I think so." Harry says, sounding ever so confident. "Because he took my mum's consent note for this."

"But that could mean..." I say, looking at Zayn, who shook his head.

"Well, then I'm glad we're here together." Zayn interrupts me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about any mistakes.. Also sorry about the switching of POV's. This story will mainly be in Niall's POV, unless stated otherwise.

I smile as Mr. Walsh comes through the door, as it feels like I've been here for ages. There are a few of us here. Josh Devine. Sandy Beales. Dan Richards. Jon Shone. 

"Are you ready for your future, gentlemen?" I nod. Words doesn't seem like it wants to come out of my mouth right now, because I am feeling quite shocked to be honest. "Good. We're leaving for London tomorrow."

Tomorrow. London. I almost freak out. "Can I call my dad?" My voice is quite hoarse.

"Hmm.. It's against the rules Mr. Horan, but since it's not exactly official yet... why not?" Mr. Walsh says.

"Thank you," I whisper.

I don't know what else to say. I'm not underage, so I don't need to have a consent form or anything, but I can't go to England without my Dad knowing I'm leaving the country! 

"Just five minutes, Niall Horan." Mr. Walsh says, showing me his teeth.

"Yeah.." I breathe. The other four guys are looking at me like I'm some sort of alien. I pick my phone up, and dialls the number I know off by heart.The phone rings five times before someone picks up.. "Dad... I think, I'm going to London."

"London?" The voice breathes, but I can tell it's not dad.

"Yeah.. Can you tell dad, please?" 

"Sure... I'll tell him." The voice breathes softly.

"Thank you.. I'd better go.." I hang up, and I feel a little cheated that I didn't get the chance to talk to my dad. Mr. Walsh did say that talking on the phone was against the rules - once everything became official. I guess it's going to become official really soon.

 

When we arrive to London, I am met with a man in black. Everything is just... black. He has black sunglasses on, and although his skin tone is quite white-ish, although you can tell he's wearing sun-tanned lotion. But he's wearing a black t-shirt, and black trousers that are quite high up on his waist. Black socks as well as black shoes. Oh, and he has black hair. See, everything is black. 

"This it it?" Mr. Black grunts to Mr. Walsh.

"Yeah," Mr. Walsh says. "But just you wait until you hear them sing... They'll blow your mind away." He winks at the five of us. 

"Hmm... One is too fat, one of them does _not_ have the look to make it, one is too short, one is too long..." I zone out. I wonder who am I in all this? The fat one, or the one who doesn't have the look? But then I think, Mr. Walsh must've been thinking the same thing, right? Why did he put me through? What do I have that is special? 

"And I suppose one of them could grow into something.. alright." Mr. Black snaps me out of my own thoughts.

"Simon! These are just young kids!" Mr. Walsh says rather loudly.

"...And we can hear you!" Josh says, laughing rather loud, which makes the other three lads laugh as well. I don't really get it, so I don't really say or do anything. I don't laugh.

"Well, unfortunately, I haven't really found _that_ many myself, but, we'll see..." Mr. Black, or Simon, says.

"Yeah, I'll go over your people, and you can audition my five guys." Mr. Walsh says, and then he gives us all a big smile, and a thumps up. "So, you're going to sing/perform for Mr. Cowell. If you cut it, you'll go through to the house where we'll be montitoring you, of your process. One week is all you've got to do to survive, and you'll all live together with, well, your competition. The last one standing, who survives all our challanges - will win a record deal with SiCo, Mr. Cowell's record company."

The five of us nods our head. "And just do what you did when you audtioned for me, and you'll be alright!" Mr. Walsh said, before he kind of ran out the door, still with a big smile plastered on his face. 

"Well, come on then.. Unless you want to audtion here?" Mr. Cowell snaps, and the five of us gather up our bags, and follow him to his (surprise surprise!) big, black monster of a car. 

"Wow! A Ferrari..." Jon whistles, his eyes sparkling with interest. 

"Three of you will ride with me, and two of you will ride with Mr. Paul Higgins." 

"Can I come with you, Mr. Cowell?" Jon asks, eyes still sparkling.

"Sure. Two more!"

"I'll go with you!" Josh says, raising his hand.

"And me!" Sandy almost yells. 

"You two, go with Paul then." Mr. Cowell says, whilst he points at me, and a rather shocked-face, Dan. 

"Okay," I nod my head, feeling just a slightly bit jealous, because Jon, Josh and Sandy will be riding in a Ferrari, whilst Dan and I will be driven in a Toyota. Which has a nice silver colour, but still.. Although I don't really know that much about cars, I know that the Toyota is no Ferrari. 

"Yeah," Dan whispers, and looks almost lovingly over to the other three, as he snaps out of it, and goes over to Paul. 

"Nice t'meet ya!" Paul says, in a broad Dublin accent.

"You from Dublin as well?" Dan smiles.

"Yeah. Born and raised." 

I just nod at them, and we go to his Toyota. Dan goes to sit in the front, whereas I take the backseat. I don't really mind. I still can't believe that I'm in England. Alone. A faint ringing can be heard, before I realise it's my ringtone for my dad's number. "Can I take this?" I murmur to Paul.

"Sure. Just... You won't tell on him, will you Dan?" Paul says, and Dan just looks over to me. His eyes seems steel-like when his eyes meets mine, and I gulp.

"No. No, I won't tell anyone." He says, but his facial expression clearly states that he'll tell the first person he sees. I don't really know if I'd mind if he'd tell Mr. Cowell himself, or anyone. I'm still not sure that I want this, because it's all rather scary right now. But the phone stops ringing before I can even press the 'accept' button.

"You can call whoever called you back?" Paul smiles in the mirror.

"No, it's... it's alright." I whisper, as I gaze out the window. 

 

****Liam****

 

We were being driven by a large man, to what I can only describe as a really large house. A mansion, really. Well, it was to me, anyway. 

"Call me Paddy!" He says, and it's clear to all of us, he's not English at all. We all murmur our names, apart from Harry, who litterally shouts his name out, in excitment it seems.

When we got to the mansion, Mr. Cowell was already there with four guys. An old guy, and three young ones. The same age as us, I suppose.

"These are the finds I found, the creme-a la-creme... I.. Yeah. These were the best ones." Mr. Cowell says to the old man. "If you'd all just follow Mr. Walsh, and sing your songs just like you sang them for me, you'll be just fine."

"Can't we just sing here?" Louis says, rolling his eyes. "I'm really tired, and hungry, and.. is that a TV? Is there any games on?" He seemed rather over enthusiastic by the TV than he was at being here.

"You sure you don't mind?" Mr. Walsh says, and whilst everyone shook their heads, I wanted to protest. "Well, alright then." 

"Can we watch, too?" One of the new guys asked, and Mr. Cowell nodded. 

"Yeah. We'll all watch." 

As I was the first one to sing (we did 'rock, paper, siccors') as I lost, three more guys came in. One of them really caught my eye, and I felt my mouth go dry. He was gorgeous.

"Whenever you're ready, Liam." Mr. Cowell smiled at me, and I tried to smile back, although.. I think it was just a grimace from me. 

I took a deep breath.

 

_Now you say you're lonely_  
 _You cried the whole night through_  
 _Well you can cry me a river_  
 _Cry me a river_  
 _I cried a river over you_

  
_Well you can cry me a river_  
 _Cry me a river,_  
 _I cried a river over you._  
  
 _Now you say you're sorry_  
 _For being so untrue_  
  
 _Well you can cry me a river_  
 _Cry me a river_  
 _I cried a river over you_

 

My voice was way too squeaky, and my mouth was as dry as if every drop of spit had vanished. Although I tried to make eye contact with every single one of the people sitting there and looking at me, my eyes were still locked on the cute guy that only entered a few moments ago.

 

"Yeah! Way to go Liam! Whoo!" Harry cheered, clapping loudly. He kind of elbowed Zayn and Louis too, who clapped too. I felt tears pricking at the back of my eyes, because I was so disappointed in myself. Then I realised that Mr. Cowell clapped as well, and, I was quite shocked to see that the cute guy was gently putting his hands together too. When I finally realised, he was clapping for me as well. The tears of embarrassment were gone in an instant, and I gave them all just a shy smile. At least, I hope it was a smile instead of a grimace.

"Hmm.. I don't know.." The old man, Mr. Walsh, says. "Were you nervous?"

I nodded. Of course I was nervous. The cutest guy in the history of the world was watching me. 

"Duly noted," he said, before he waved me back down from the stage.

 

As it was Zayn's turn next, I took his place and kind of zoned out.

"He's really sexy, right?" Harry murmured in my ear.

"Huh? What?" I realised I've been mindlessly staring at the cute boy, but when I looked over at Harry, he was the one staring this time. Luckily for me, he wasn't staring at the same cute boy as me. No, he was staring at Zayn, which I could tell, Zayn kind of minded. He was squirming uncomfortably on the small stage.

 

_Show you the way love's supposed to be_  
 _Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you_

Everyone clapped this time, and Harry even stood up, clapping louder than anyone else - again. I realised that I missed almost all of Zayn's performance, just because of this really cute boy. I still couldn't take my eyes off him - the cute boy that is. 

Next up was Louis, so Zayn took his spot, and sat down next to Harry once again. 

Feeling that I really should stop looking at the cute boy, I tried my best to not zone out. I was determinded to hear Louis sing.

 

 _Hey there Delilah_  
 _What's it like in New York City_  
 _I'm a thousand miles away_  
 _But girl tonight you look so pretty  
_ _Oh it's what you do to me_  
  
I do zone out just a little bit, just daydreaming about the blonde cutie-pie. Wondering if he'd ever like me back, or.. I shake my head a little bit, and try to focus on Louis. It's so hard, though.

_Oh it's what you do to me_  
 _Oh it's what you do to me_  
 _Oh it's what you do to me_  
 _What you do to me_

"Maybe we should mix it up a bit," Mr. Cowell said.

"You.. Mr. Horan? Why don't you go up next?" 

Mr. Horan. The cute boy was about to enter the stage. I beamed up at him, feeling so very proud, although I didn't know him. It's hard to explain, but I knew that this boy was something special.

 

****Niall****

 

After that dude sang a Plain White T's song, Mr Cowell voiced his opinion. "Maybe we should mix it up a bit." I gulped.

"You.. Mr. Horan? Why don't you go up next?" I gulped once more, feeling everyone staring at me this time. 

The first guy who sang has been staring at me ever since I came in the door. I wonder what he's seeing, and I became super aware that whatever it was - everyone else would see it too. Was it food stuck in my teeth? Were there some sort of stain on my clothes? What? 

"Ah. I see you sang an original song at your audtion." Mr. Cowell said. 

"Y-yes." 

"Do you know any other songs, maybe? One that isn't an original song?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh.. And no instruments, please." I nodded, walked back down from the small stage, to place my guitar next to my belongings. The walk up to the stage was even more terrifying than it was just moments before. 

"So... what are you going to sing?" 

"Uh... 'So sick' by Neyo."

"Whenever you're ready." Mr Cowell said.

I take a deep breath, and I almost lose it when I see that the staring guy is smiling now.

 

_Gotta change my answering machine_  
 _Now that I'm alone_  
 _Cause right now it says that we_  
 _Can't come to the phone_  
 _And I know it makes no sense_  
 _Cause you walked out the door_  
 _But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore_

 

"Thank you." Mr Cowell says. "Uh, maybe we should hear that original song, anyway?"

I nod. "Can I play me 'tar?"

"Sure thing, Niall." Mr. Walsh says, before Mr. Cowell can even open his mouth to response to my question. I walk down the stage, and pick up my guitar. Feeling whole once again when I feel the strap is on. 

 

_I run from hate_  
 _I run from prejudice_  
 _I run from pessimists_  
 _But I run too late_

_I run my life_  
 _Or is it running me_  
 _Run from my past_  
 _I run too fast_  
 _Or too slow it seems_

_When lies become the truth_  
 _That's when I run to you_  
  
  
 _This world keeps spinning faster_  
 _Into a new disaster so I run to you_  
 _I run to you baby_  
 _And when it all starts coming undone_  
 _Baby you're the only one I run to_

 

"Well..." Mr Cowell says. "Your original stuff sure is... something." He gaze at the other contestants, before his eyes are back at me. "Good job, Mr. Niall Horan." He winked. I gave a small nod, and in the corner of my eye I see the guy that's been constantly staring at me, wiping his eyes with his sweater.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about any mistakes.. Also, there is not much Niam in this chapter, but a little focus on Zarry (and Louis).

****Zayn****

 

After we've all performed, Mr. Cowell gave us all a thumps up.

"Well, I can safely say that you're all going to be a part of the TV show!" 

Everyone cheered, apart from me (kind of) and the blonde guy Liam wouldn't stop staring at. He was kind of cute, I suppose. His hair looked kind of fluffy, and his milky white skin looked rather soft. No! I do not think _that_ about a guy. No way. I can't be gay! Not even bi! Nope! Not me! Not Zayn Malik, damn it! 

"Aren't you happy, Zayn?" Harry cheered, tugging at my arm. His dimples showing, and his bright green eyes sparkled in the light of the room. 

"Of course," I smiled back at him. "Wouldn't anyone be happy when they're standing next to you?" I smiled, and his face flushed red rather quickly. 

"Uh.. Yeah.. I'm very happy whenever I'm next to you, though, Zayn." 

"Alright, so listen up guys!" Mr. Walsh said, rather loudly, ending all our conversations at once. "You'll be devided into a room of two and two. Since you're all adding up to nine, you could either devide it so that one person is left alone - although I must say I don't like that idea myself, or two and two, and in one room you're three. Simon has gone putting your names in a hat, and you'll pick."

"So... We could actually have a room of our own, then?" I asked. This sounded like heaven to me. 

"Yes, although I must say, I hope you all disagree with that.."

"I don't mind being by myself," I said, and I saw that the blonde guy - whose name I couldn't for the life of me remember - nodding in agreement with what I said.

"No, whoever doesn't get picked, will have the choice by himself. Otherwise, you'll share with whatever name gets picked, alright?" 

Then Mr. Cowell came back with a hat. "You told them?" He asked Mr. Walsh.

"Yeah." Mr. Walsh confirmed. "Mr. Devine, why don't you pick first?" 

Devine got up, and picked a name. I prayed I wasn't the one he picked. "Jon Shone." The two of them gave each other a high-five.

"Why don't you go next, Richards?" 

"Sandy Beales." Richards said, gaining a smile from Beales, as well as a smile from himself.

"Mr. Horan?" 

The blonde guy that Liam had been staring at came forward, and I could practically see Liam drool and praying that he would be the one to be picked.

"Liam Payne." A sigh of relief escaped Liam, as he stepped forward, giving Mr. Horan a small wave. Mr. Horan, luckily, waved back, before he took back to where he originally stood. Between Mr. Devine and Mr. Richards.

"Mr. Malik, why don't you pick next?" I shook my head. 

"I can, uh, wait."

"No, you can't. Take your pick, Mr. Malik." I grunted as I walked up to the hat. 

"Louis Tomlinson." I smiled, despite my slight sadness of not being able to be by myself. I don't really understand what is so wrong by being by yourself, though.  

"What do you want to do, Mr. Styles?" 

All eyes were on Harry, who looked rather torn. Not that I thought that he'd ever choose to be by himself, he just didn't seem like that kind of guy, but he looked from Liam to Louis and myself. 

"I.. I want to share."

"Who with, Mr. Styles?" Mr Cowell pressured him, and he looked so torn up looking between Liam, Louis and myself, that it looked like he wanted to cry.

"He'll share with us, Mr. Cowell." I spoke up, almost grimacing to myself. Why in the name of Allah would I speak up? 

"I'm afraid it's not your call, Mr. Malik." Mr. Cowell gave me a smug look, as he totally understood why I had spoken up, although I had no idea myself.

Harry, on the other hand, beamed like the sun. Like this had gone from his worst day ever because he had to choose, that I practically had chosen for him. 

"I choose Zayn!" He beamed, showing his dimples. Then he flushed scarlet, before he mumbled ".. and Louis."

The four new guys snickered at Harry's mistake, and when he heard them, it made him look even more embarrassed. 

"Don't worry about them.." I put my hand around Harry's shoulders, and although I could feel him freeze for just one moment, he leaned into the touch the second after. 

"I don't.." He whispered.

 

****Harry****

 

I'm so happy that Zayn made that decision for me. Like, I know Liam didn't even look at me or anything, but what if his feelings would be hurt if I didn't say his name? And sure, I'd love to bunk with (mainly) Zayn and Louis, because Louis is really funny. And Zayn is so dreamy. But Liam was like, my first friend here. Although, we weren't really friends, but we had some sort of connection. At least, that's what I thought.

I saw that Liam still hadn't looked away from his now room mate. "You want to come with me for a second?" I tap his shoulder.

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Sure." 

"Why do you keep looking at him like that?" I whisper once we were alone. At least, I think I was whispering. I said it as softly as I could anyway.

"Shhh! Keep your voice down!" Liam looked panicked. 

"What?" I gave him a confused look. 

"You... you don't know?" Liam looked rather horrified.

"Know what?" 

"You kind of said it in a 'normal voice'. You weren't whispering it, although I kind of get the feeling that was what you kind of intended.. At least I hope so, because... Well, because..."

"I whispered it, Liam." I said, feeling rather confident.

"Well, you didn't.. but yeah. I'm glad you..."

"Why do you stare at him so much, though?" 

"You... You're staring at Zayn!" Liam retalliated.

"Yeah, but Zayn's like... really hot. And I think he cares about me.. Just a little bit, in fact. And he's dreamy. Yeah, really dreamy. And his voice is so honey-like.. and I'm the bee!" I giggled.

"Well, I think my room mate is all that - and more!"

"Do you want me to talk to him? I can, like..."

"No... I.. I mean, what would you say.. exactly?"

"I'd tell him my name, and if he'd like to hang out with us? He doesn't seem to comfortable with the other four, does he?" 

"Erm.. Sure. I guess you could say that.." Liam was slightly red, and he looked hot under his collar, so to speak. I decided to not comment on that, and just babble on. 

"And then he can get to know you better, because I think he'd like you as much I like you, and I like you a lot,Liam. Like I knew I liked you before you even opened up your voice to sing, and..."

"Uh, thank you Harry. I-I like you too." Liam interrupted me.

"I can feel the 'luv' in the room!" Louis came in, cackling loudly, as he dragged Zayn with him.

 

****Louis****

 

"I can feel the 'luv' in the room," I sniggered, and then I got the reaction I wanted from both Liam and Harry. Like, they both made it so obvious who they liked, it's unbelievable. Like, Liam couldn't stop staring at Horan, and Harry.. Well, Harry seemed to really like Zayn. Like, he wouldn't stop staring at him. 

I saw that Zayn's face fell a little bit, but then he chuckled along with me. 

"They do make a cute couple, don't they, Lou?" Zayn said, his eyes dancing slightly in humour.

"Ah, yeah! They do!" I said, as both Harry and Liam faces became more and more disgusted. 

"I  _don't_ like Liam!" Harry shouted.

"But you just said you did, Harry! You said, 'I really like you, Liam.' Just admit it, and Liam said he liked you too!" I laughed.

"As a friend! I like Liam, because he's my friend. I like all my friends! I also liked you, Louis Tomlinson, but I'm not sure I do anymore!" Harry shouted, his green eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

"Hey, hey! Harry.. we were just joking!" I said, as I put my hands up in defence. 

"Well, it wasn't funny!" Harry shouted.

"Sorry, Harry." Zayn smiled softly as Harry, and Harry's facial expressions changed. From looking really peeved off, to a softer look.

"Where's my apology?!" Liam still looked really angry, almost shouting in my face.

"H-hi.." A soft voice said, and all four of us turned to see a blonde guy staring at us.

"Ah! Just the guy I wanted to talk to! Now, what do you think of young Liam here and Harry? Don't you think they'd make a cute couple, or what?" I hurry out, seeing both Harry and Liam turn bright red - out of anger - once again. 

"Uh... S-sure?" The blonde guy stutters slightly, but he still didn't sound too sure. Well, I don't blame him. He doesn't know us. Yet. 

"Oh, and your song was brilliant, by the way! I'm Louis. Louis Tomlinson, but you can call me 'Tommo' if you want to. My mates call me Tommo."

"Oh. 'm Niall."

"I'll try and remember that. Niall." I said, smiling at him. He smiled shyly back at me. Liam was shooting daggers at me, but I decided to ignore him. At least for a little bit.

"So, this is my mate, Zayn, you know, the model one. And then Curly hair is Harry. And the guy yelling at me when you walked in, is your room mate. Liam." I smiled, expecting Niall to smile back at me, but he just looked at the three of them.

"Nice to meet you, Niall. I'm Zayn." Zayn sort of dropped his hand from holding Harry's, and walked up to Niall.

"Nice to meet you too," Niall murmured, and if I hadn't been standing next to him, I probably wouldn't have heard him.  

"I'm Harry! Nice to meet you, Niall. Just like the river, yeah?! I'll definitely remember your name!" Harry beamed, as he shook Niall's hand, and then shyly, he brought his own hand back into Zayn's again. 

"Hi, Harry." Niall said softly, as he gently gave a small smile to Harry. "And yeah, it's just like the river, I s'pose." 

As Liam walked up to where the four of us were sort of huddled together now, a bell rang rather loudly, making Harry squeal in fright, and making me laugh. 

"It's alright, Harry. Don't worry." Zayn said, as he put his arms around Harry's shoulders, and pulling him closer to his chest. I swear I could see Harry give me a slight smile, before he burried his face into Zayn's chest.


	4. Chapter 4

I walked in a room, and I saw two guys holding each other, and the other one, the one who was my room mate, shouting rather loudly in the other guy's face.  

"H-hi." I said, rather timidly, just because I didn't want anyone shouting at _me_. All four turn around, and look at me, and I want to turn away. 

The other guy, who was screamed at, asks me something, but I don't knoq what. It seems like he wants me to agree with him, and to make sure he won't yell or scream or anything, I do just that. Agree. I think I say 'sure', but I'm not positive about that. Although I have no idea what I just agreed to, which makes my anxiety level to almost fly off the roof. 

"Oh, and your song was brilliant, by the way! I'm Louis. Louis Tomlinson, but you can call me 'Tommo' if you want to. My mates call me Tommo." I catch him say, and I think I'm supposed to tell him my name now.

"Oh. 'm Niall."

"I'll try and remember that. Niall." He said, smiling. I tried to smile back.

"So, this is my mate, Zayn, you know, the model one. And then Curly hair is Harry. And the guy yelling at me when you walked in, is your room mate. Liam." I just looked at the three of them, not really catching anyone's name.

"Nice to meet you, Niall. I'm Zayn." Zayn let go of the other guy's hand, and came up to me.

"Nice to meet you too," I murmured.  

"I'm Harry! Nice to meet you, Niall. Just like the river, yeah?! I'll definitely remember your name!" Harry beamed, as he shook my hand.

"Hi, Harry." I smiled gently at Harry. "And yeah, my name's just like the river, I s'pose." 

A bell ringing, made me jump, and Harry squealed. No one seemed to notice my jump, which I'm kind of grateful for.

Mr. Cowell and Mr. Walsh stand in the hallway, which the loud bell ringing came from. "Just so you know, when the bell rings, it means it's time for supper, and then it's time for bed." Mr. Cowell said.

"Tomorrow, you'll get your first assignment. Yes, you may change your room mate if you so wish, but not until the first week is over. A new group of people will come in, and you'll meet them tomorrow. Have a good night sleep." Mr. Walsh said, and then he and Mr. Cowell went out the door. 

"So.. what is for dinner?" Jon spoke up, looking around. 

"Dunno," everyone sort of murmured.

 

We all sort of retreated into our own rooms after we had our dinner (fish and chips), and my room mate, Liam, was still kind of staring at me. I could feel his eyes on me, and it was quite uncomfortable. 

Liam wasn't talking much, not really. I wasn't much of a talker myself, just because I felt so awkward. I mean, here I was sharing a room with the one guy that didn't seem to realise how much he was staring at me. My phone rang for the millionth time. I saw my dad's number again, and I just sighed. 

"Aren't you going to answer your phone?" Liam asks.

"Can't. Against the rules."

"R-really? So, you can't like phone your family, or they can't phone you? What if we're homesick, or just need advice, or..." He seemed to babble. I decided to cut him off real quick.

"Yeah. Like, Mr. Walsh told me when I asked if I could tell my dad I was going to London.. And it was my dad that phoned just now.." I looked down. Talking about dad really wasn't helping. I missed him a lot already, and I'd do anything to hear his voice. To try and calm me down. Because talking about my dad, but unable to hear his voice, made me miss him that extra bit more. 

"Oh.. I won't tell anyone if you decide to answer your phone real quick.." He blushed at his own words. "I-I mean, if you won't tell on me when I call _my_  sister.. I haven't gone a whole day without speaking to her, and I-I kind of miss her..."

I just nod at him. "I won't tell on you, but I'm pretty sure they've got those hidden cameras in here.. So.."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." His shoulders dropped, and then his phone went off. He looked longingly at it, close to tears in fact. "It's my sister," he whispered softly, as he kind of rocked himself back and forth. 

"Maybe you should just answer it.. Tell her you can't really talk. I talked to, uh, _someone_ before I flew over here, a-and dad knows I'm here now.. At least, I hope he knows.."

His phone stopped ringing, before it started up again. "But if it's against the rules..." He choked on his words, tears running freely down his face. I don't know how to handle someone who is crying so openly, so freely. Heck, I hardly know how to handle myself when I'm crying. "S-s-sorry." He wiped his eyes, almost like he was terrified of me seeing his tears, with his sweater.

"It's okay." I whisper, as I walk up to him, and hold my arms out. "Want a cuddle?"

"W-what?"

"Just.. You seem like you could do with a cuddle. Do you want one?" Truth was, I was the one who needed a cuddle.

"O-okay." He held his arms out, and I felt his breathing slightly hitch as I stepped into his embrace, and put my arms around his middle, burying my face in his sweater. 

He smelt.. like newly cut grass, slightly sweaty - but his b.o wasn't horrible like some people's body odor is, and some cologne I know I've smelt before, but couldn't for the life of me remember the name of at this moment. I stroked his back, and sort of hummed in appriciation at his body warmth. He was really warm, like.

 

  ****Liam****

 

Silence. It's kind of nice, but I want to know more about my room mate. After the fifth time his phone went off, and a sort of broken sigh came from him, I decided to speak up. "Aren't you going to answer your phone?"

"Can't. Against the rules." He sort of mumbled, not even looking at me. 

"R-really? So, you can't like phone your family, or they can't phone you? What if we're homesick, or just need advice, or..." I was shocked. And when I'm shocked, I tend to babble, like just like I am now.

"Yeah. Like, Mr. Walsh told me when I asked if I could tell my dad I was going to London.. And it was my dad that phoned just now.." He still wasn't looking at me, and it seemed like he found the floor a lot more interesting. He seemed quite sad. I decided to try and cheer him up.

"Oh.. I won't tell anyone if you decide to answer your phone real quick.." I blushed when I realised how this must sound like, because even though I really like him, he's litterally just a stranger. "I-I mean, if you won't tell on me when I call  _my_  sister.. I haven't gone a whole day without speaking to her, and I-I kind of miss her..." I try backpaddling.

He gives a small nod. "I won't tell on you, but I'm pretty sure they've got those hidden cameras in here.. So.."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." Of course they've got those cameras in here.. And I just admitted that I'd gladly break the rules for him, and I never break the rules. Then, right on cue, my phone rang. I looked at it, feeling the tears pressing on. The name Ruth lit up on my screen. "It's my sister," I whispered softly, as I rocked myself back and forth, to try and comfort myself. 

"Maybe you should just answer it.. Tell her you can't really talk. I talked to, uh,  _someone_ before I flew over here, a-and dad knows I'm here now.. At least, I hope he knows.." Niall murmured softly.

Luckily, my phone stopped ringing, but as relief filled my body, it started up again. "But if it's against the rules..." I choked and tears were leaking fast out of my eyes. I take a quick look at Niall, and he looks rather uncomfortable with me crying. "S-s-sorry." I mumble, whilst I wipe my eyes with my sweater.

"It's okay." Niall says softly, as he walks up to me, and then I realise he holds out his arms out for me. "Want a cuddle?"

I swear I'm hearing things wrong. "W-what?"

"Just.. You seem like you could do with a cuddle. Do you want one?" Is he serious right now? Is he asking if I want a cuddle? Of course I want a cuddle. 

"O-okay." I stutter, and then I hold my arms out for him. My breathing slightly hitched as he stepped into my arms, and then I felt his arms around my middle, whilst I felt him burying his face in my sweater. I just prayed that he enjoyed having his body as close to mine, as I did with his close to mine. 

Niall seemed to fit in my arms, like he was my  missing puzzle piece. I just hoped and prayed I could tell Ruth about him, before I fell even deeper for him.. Because I could feel myself falling faster than I've ever done before.

The hug seemed to last forever, and when I let him go, I felt like all the warmth left. I shivered, and I think he noticed, but he didn't say aything. Thankfully.

"Thanks. I needed that." 

He smiled, his eyes crinkled slightly.

"Me too." He gave a small yawn, and then he streched a little, so I could see his pale stomach. "Well, I'm knackered, so I think I'm going to bed."

I nodded. "Same. It's been an emotional day." 

"Thanks for... y'know.. the hug. You give great hugs." 

I blushed at his compliment, but I don't think he gave it much thought to be honest. At least, I hoped he didn't give it too much thought. "Thanks. I like the way you hug too."

_Great! Just great! What an idiot you are, Liam Can you get any more embarrassing?_

"We should definitely do it again some time." His smile was brighter than the sun, and I could feel the flutter of butterflies swarming around in the pool of my stomach. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for neglecting this story for so long... :( I'll try to get into writing it again...

****Zayn****

 

I've always had trouble getting to sleep, but once I fell asleep, you'd have a hard time getting me to wake up. Harry looked absolutely stunning, and for the millionth time, I had to remind myself that I am  _NOT_ gay. I can't be. It's unheard of. Unthinkable. Yet I am finding myself in a whirlwind of emotions - dreaming of a chest with no soft boobs, or a curvy body. No, I find myself dreaming of soft curly hair, a slightly muscular chest, biceps, and a delightful v-line that goes on... I gasp awake, when I feel someone's hair is tickling my nose. 

"Hngh, Lou.. gerr'off." I mumble, thinking that it's Louis. I've been stuck with him for weeks now, and although he isn't really a cuddler, he would sometimes cuddle up to me whilst I was asleep - because he needed some sort of human contact. I needed it too, of course, but unlike Louis, I had to choose to be straight - if that makes sense. And being cuddled up with a male - is frowned upon. Especially when you're (half) naked and in bed.

"'m not Lou. 'm Harry."

 "Harry...?" I am still not fully awake to understand how this affect me. As I look into his sleepy green eyes that's almost an emeral shade this early in the morning, I find myself almost struggle to breathe. 

 "'m tired. Wanna cuddle 'n sleep.." Harry snuggled even further into my my neck, wrapping his arm around my middle, and pulling us even closer than we already were. Our legs were already tangled together.

"Hmm.." is really all the answer I can give. A huge part of me wants to kiss his pretty face off, whilst pulling slightly on his hair. Want to claim his mouth as mine. A small part however, is slightly disgusted, and want to pull away as far as possible.. because Harry can really be my downfall. Like, Louis would find it his personal victory if he could get me half hard whilst we snuggled.. but with Harry, I felt like being half hard is not even an option. Like, fully erect, painfully so, was the understatement of this. 

I try to wriggle myself free from his tight embrace, before anything could become problematic, but Harry was slightly clingy. 

"Don't go Zayn.. You're warm.. and comfy.." Harry held on even tighter than before, but he squealed in my ear in surprise when that horrible ringing noise went off. 

"We should get up," I mumble into his hair. 

He nods, and just stares at me for a second, whilst he licks his lips. "You look like an angel..." He mumbles, and then hides his face under the duvet. 

Thankfully, when I blush, it isn't as distinctive*(?) as when for instance Niall blushes. I thought he looked kind of cute when he found things embarrassing, just because his face would litterally become red, in just an instant. 

"Bloody hell, why would they wake us up like this?!" Louis groaned, and padded out to the bathroom. Singing loudly in the shower, to his favourite song.. Yep, you guessed it! For months, all I've listened to is 'Hey there Delilah' - as he belts out the chorus.

 

****Niall****

 

I groaned as I woke up, as I felt the sheets became wet. How bloody embarrassing is this? And it's just my first night here, and everything! 

I turn around, and see that Liam is still asleep. 

 _'Thank God'_ races through my mind, and very quietly strip off the bed, and pad into the bathroom. I try and wash the sheet as much as I can, before I step into the shower to clean myself. As disgusted I felt, the warm water made it feel exhilarating.

As I step out of the shower and quickly dry myself, I swear I can hear Liam twisting and turning in his bed. As I step out of the bathroom, he is indeed turning in his sleep, almost whining. "Liam?" No answer. I approach his bed, and softly touch his arm. "Liam?" As expected, only a whimper was the answer. He was probably having a nightmare. "Liam?" 

"Mmm.. NoNoNoNoNo," is all I hear, before I realise his face is wet. _'Oh, he's crying!'_ I think to myself.

"Liam? Liam, wake up. It's a bad dream. Shh.." I try to soothe him, and as he's startled out of his dream, and locks eyes with me, I am rather surprised by his actions.

"Please, don't leave me!" He croaks, as he burries his face into my shoulder, and holding me rather tight. A lot more tight than what is expected from a mere stranger, because that is essentially what we are to each other.

"It's alright..." I pat his back, and I can hear him trying to even out his breathing. "You can tell me, y'know, what your nightmare is about?" 

"N-no-nothing. Th-thank you.. for.. y'know.." He let go of me, and I let him. 

"Is okay. I've been told I'm a good cuddler, because I kind of love it meself." Realising it sounded kind of weird, I choked out. "I love cuddling."

"You.. you're the best." He mumbled, before his cheeks flushed, and he wouldn't even look at me. 

The bell started going off, again, and it sounded even louder than the night before. "I guess it's time to get ready for breakfast." I smile. I feel quite ready, and although I wouldn't mind calling my dad just to hear his voice, I am ready for this. I want to become an artist - to become a better guitar player, and a better songwriter, as well as a better singer. 

"You think I can go and shower before I have to eat breakfast?" Liam choked out, still not looking at me, by the way.

"Sure. I've already taken a shower." I said, and Liam stood up really quickly, running into the bathroom, and not even five seconds later, the shower was running.

"Wow..." I mumbled, already having seen he had a muscular chest, and his big strong arms. He was really quick, but I rid myself of those kind of thoughts. He probably didn't even like me - although I kind of wanted to know why he kept staring at me yesterday, and now he wouldn't even look in my direction.

 

The bell ringing rather loudly, which made me jump, and I could tell that Liam did too. We were met with Mr. Cowell and Mr. Walsh, and eight other people. 

"These are the eight other contestant. We're looking forward to seeing you all, and don't forget - you could all be suspended here with no reason this first week. Today, you're going to work on a song - by yourself. If you feel uncomfortable writing on your own - you may work with your room mate, okay?" Mr. Cowell said, and Mr. Walsh was nodding along with him. 

"Why don't we even split it into teams? Ireland vs Britain so to speak?" Mr Walsh grinned.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea." Mr. Cowell said, and gave us all a nod. "Go along then." He smirked, before he strutted outside with Mr. Walsh towing in line. 

 

"Do you want to work on writing together?" Liam whispered. 

"Uh.. I-I work best on m-my own," I whisper. It's true, but to see Liam's face fell like it did, was seriously heartbreaking.

"Oh. That's okay." Liam tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes, sadly. When his smile reached his eyes, it lit up into the warmest brown eyes I've ever seen.

 

_Stars shining bright above you  
_ _Night breezes seem to whisper I love you_   
_Birds singing in the sycamore tree_   
_Dream a little dream of me_

_Say nightie night and kiss me_   
_Just hold me tight and whisper you love me_   
_When I'm alone and blue as can be_   
_Dream a little dream of me_

_Stars fading but I linger on dear_   
_Still craving your kiss_   
_I'm longing to linger till dawn dear_   
_Just saying this_

_Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you_   
_Sweet dreams that leave all your worries behind you_   
_But in your dream whatever they be_   
_Dream a little dream of me_

 

I shed a tear as I looked over the lyrics that I've just written. Not like, because I find them to be good. I don't. I never really think what I write is good enough, but I write my lyrics for me. They mean something to _me_. I just hope I won't be kicked out before I have the chance to proove myself to the people here. 

 

****Harry****

 

I litterally never left Zayn's side, and although I coud kind of pick up on the vibe he wanted to be left alone, I just couldn't. One of the guys that entered the competition were giving him the evil-look-kind-of-thing, and I wanted to make sure that my Zaynie was safe and happy. Also, I should probably stop calling him 'mine', as he isn't mine. Yet. I plan to make him mine as soon as possible, because how can anyone refuse the charm and devilishly good look of Zayn Malik? 

"Want to write a song together, Zee?" Louis called, and I kind of freaked out.  _I_ was the one who wanted to write a song with Zayn. 

A knock on the door stopped me from blurting out this very thought to Louis. 

"Liam. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be, uh, in your room?" I squeaked.

"Niall wanted to write a song on his own.. and since I can't really write.. can someone in this room like help me?" He looked like such a sad little puppy. Like, seriously.

 "YES!" Louis yelled out, and made the three of us all sort of flinch. "That's brilliant! Zayn and me will write together, and Liam, you can write with Harry! A masterplan by Tommo The Tomlison, if I so say myself."

"Who the hell is Tommo The Tomlinson?" I made up a scrunchy face, but Louis just cackled at me. 

"I am, silly! Tommo is my nickname, and Tomlinson is my last name. Duh!"

"I thought your nickname was Lou." I said, which Liam sort of just gave a small nod to. He really did look rather sad.

"Or... Lou-bear." Zayn snickered.

"Lou-bear? Oh, I am so calling you that from now on!" I cackled, and even Liam sort of gave a small giggle at the nickname.

"Hey, I told you that in confidence Malik." 

"Sorry..." Zayn did look like he was sorry, by the way. I just wanted to hold his hand, maybe snuggle up to him, and then possibly kiss his cheek, preferably his mouth. Anything to see his perfect smile on his face again.

Another knock on our door, and to see five guys just standing there was rather unnerving.

"Gay-parade much?" The guy who made the evil-eyes at Zayn said, and the other four guys just sniggered.

"What are you even doing here, George?" Zayn spat, and I could tell he must've known him or something. It was kind of scary.

"OI! PARKER!" Louis shouted, and then it was evil-glaring from all sides. It made me feel rather uncomfortable, and I think it did so for Liam as well.

It seemed like Liam and I couldn't even give the newcomers any evil glares, just because we had no idea who they were, or even what they've done. I could probably muster up the courage to give somewhat an evil glare to the guy Zayn snapped at. George or whatever he was called.

"Want to go?" Liam whispered, as he tugged on my sleeve. I just nodded, and then we entered the bathroom with pen and paper in hands, ready to write something to try and keep us in the competition.

Because, just like Liam said, I didn't really know how to write a song either...

 

****LIAM****

 

"Do you know who those guys were?" I squeaked like a frightend mouse. 

"No," Harry answered, but he seemed really lost in thought. 

"Do you know how to write a song?" 

"No."

"Me neither." I sighed. This would be so much easier if Niall was here. If I could just... look at him, I'm sure I could try and write him a love song. That could possibly make me write down all these feelings just swarming in my head. 

"I think those guys are really homophobic," Harry kind of whispered, and then he looked really frightened. It made my heart skip a beat or two too. 

"Yeah, they didn't really look friendly." I agreed with him.

"So, uh... how do you think we should write a song?" Harry seemed so... scared.

"I really have no clue, Harry. No clue whatsoever."

"He... doesn't write with other people." I just couldn't believe this. Not when I was so close, yet so far away from the one guy I wanted more than anything in the entire world.

"I didn't say he should write with us. I just suggested that he could explain to us how he writes his songs, you know? What motivates him? The actual lyric, or the melody? Is that even a thing?" 

I just gave Harry a shrug. Niall had basically blown me off, and the more I thought about it, the more I hurt. It shouldn't hurt me so much considering that I barely knew him. But I knew in my heart that I was already a goner for Niall Horan. I prayed that he would fall for me as much as I had already fallen for him, although I know that it probably was just wishful dreaming on my part. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics that Niall "wrote" is 'Dream a little dream of me' which is a really old song. I'm not really sure who wrote it, but Ella Fitzgerald did a version of it...


	6. Chapter 6

I sit and rehearse the new song I've written when Liam comes slumping in the door, looking even more distressed than ever. I put my guitar in my guitarcase, and shuffle the lyrics inside my lyric-notebook, and place it in my guitarcase as well. 

"What's up?" 

The way he flinches, makes me realise that something is really wrong with Liam indeed. 

"Ahh." He stops and takes a deep breath. "You scared me. I didn't see you there..." 

I made a face. "You were looking directly at me, Liam. What's up? I'm not that scary, am I?" 

"Uh, was I?"

It seemed like he was purposedly disregarding my questions, which kind of pissed me off. Like, first of all, he kept staring at me - for no apparent reason at all, then he wouldn't even look at me, then he begged me not to let him go, and now he won't even tell me if I scare him or not. 

"Yes, you were." I breathed out, trying to calm myself down. 

"Oh. Sorry. It's just... weird. I don't feel... good."

"So? What's wrong?" 

I could see the sheer panic in his eyes, but then he kind of tried to let it go, I guess. 

"I think Zayn and Louis are being harrassed by two of the newcommers here."

"Pardon?" This was not what I expected Liam to say - at all. 

"These new guys, they came to Zayn, Louis and Harry's room, and just... they were saying abusive names and stuff, and then Louis got really crazy eyes, and then there were yelling and cackling... and Harry and I left." 

I must've looked like a real fool, for sure. I had no idea what Liam was talking about. 

"Ooh-kaay." I dragged it out. "So, where's Harry?"

"Huh?" He looked really out of it, so I sighed a little. 

"You said you and Harry left. So... where's Harry?" 

"Oh, he... he slipped back. Checking up on Zayn and Louis, I-I think."

I was even more confused than when I first started talking to Liam. I waited a little bit for blurting out the one thing that just kept playing on in my head from what he had been telling me. 

"So... you got freaked out over Louis and Zayn's behaviour, or about the new guys?" 

"Uhm... I-I didn't, I-I-I..." I could tell he had problems getting something coherent out, so I just patted his arm. He sort of flinched away from me. 

"Relax, Liam."

"I-I can't. I can't write for shit, and neither can Harry, and I'm going to have to leave, and I don't want to..."

"Hey, I could probably help... if you want? I mean, I don't really write with someone, or.. but... erm, yeah..."

"Really?" Liam's face lit up, his big smile made his eyes crinkle and shine with excitment, which made Niall smile back just as excitedly. 

"Yeah..."

 

 _Moon River_  
 _Wider than a mile_  
 _I'm crossing you in style_  
 _Someday_  
  
 _You dream maker_  
 _You heartbreaker  
_ _Wherever you're going  
_ _I'm going your way_

 _Two drifters off to see the world  
_ _There's such a lot of world to see  
_ _We're after the same rainbow's end  
_ _Waiting around the bend  
_ _My huckleberry friend  
_ _Moon River and me_

 

"What do you think?" I ask, as Liam looked in awe.

"It's... perfect. Thank you so much, Niall. Really... I don't know what to say, I..."

"You don't have to say anything. Really." I smile at him, and pat him on his arm. As I pat him on the arm he lean over, and his cheek softly brush against my cheek, making us hug kind of awkwardly. As I lean into him, I can feel the heat from his cheeks - or maybe it's my own cheeks heating up. God knows I find him attractive enough to make my own face heat up, and it's awkward when we look at each other. 

"Sorry..." Liam mumbled softly, keeping his face burried in his arms - refusing to look at me. 

"N-no need to s-say you're sorry," I mumble as well - feeling my face heat up as I can still feel his cheek and side pressed into mine.

 

****Harry****

 

I shake slightly as I walk towards the room I share with Zayn and Louis. I don't want to see or meet the guys that harrassed Zayn and Louis. They scared me, and they also scared Liam. I don't want them to hurt me, nor do I want them to hurt Louis or Liam, or even Niall - but the one person I really didn't want hurt - Zayn. Of course, my mind revolved around him. I run into the bathroom, and lock myself in. Being inspired by Zayn, I start writing...

 

_I must be crazy now_   
_Maybe I dream too much_   
_But when I think of you_   
_To whisper in your ear_   
_Words that are old as time_   
_Words only you would hear_   
_If only you were mine_

_I wish I could go back to the very first day I saw you_   
_Should've made my move when you looked into my eyes_   
_Because by now I know that you'd feel the way that I do_   
_And I'd whisper these words as you'd lie by my side_   
  
_I love you_   
_Please say you love me too_   
_These three words_   
_They could change our lives forever_   
_And I promise you that we'd always be together_   
_Till the end of the time_

The lyrics come easily, much more easily than anything has ever happened to me before, and I don't know whether I want to run to Niall so that he could help me figure out a melody, or run to Zayn to show him how much he inspire me. Yeah, so I did write the words 'I love you' in there - but what can I say? Zayn is so dreamy. His long eyelashes that seemed to go on forever, his sweet and kind dark honey brown eyes, his body that looked like he was Cupid himself, and his cheekbones could cut a diamond for sure. I decide not to share my lyrics yet - and I stroll to the room I share with Zayn and Louis. 

 

  ****Zayn****

 

I was laughing along with Louis. We showed those guys trying to throw shade at us. It made me feel a little bad that I didn't even notice that Harry and Liam had left, but then again, neither had Louis. We were trying to write something, and we sort of had something, I guess. Louis said it was to honour his long distance relationship with his Eleanor. 

 

_Am I asleep, am I awake, or somewhere in between?_   
_I can't believe that you are here and lying next to me_   
_Or did I dream that we were perfectly entwined?_   
_Like branches on a tree, or twigs caught on a vine?_   
  
_Like all those days and weeks and months I tried to steal a kiss_   
_And all those sleepless nights and daydreams where I pictured this,_   
_I'm just the underdog who finally got the girl_   
_And I am not ashamed to tell it to the world_   
  
_Truly, madly, deeply, I am_   
_Foolishly, completely falling_   
_And somehow you caved all my walls in_   
_So baby, say you'll always keep me_   
_Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you_   
_In love with you_   
  
_Should I put coffee and granola on a tray in bed_   
_And wake you up with all the words that I still haven't said?_   
_And tender touches, just to show you how I feel_   
_Or should I act so cool like it was no big deal?_   
  
_Wish I could freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this_   
_I'll put this day back on replay and keep reliving it_   
_'Cause here's the tragic truth if you don't feel the same_   
_My heart would fall apart if someone said your name_   
  
_And truly, madly, deeply, I am_   
_Foolishly, completely falling_   
_And somehow you caved all my walls in_   
_So baby, say you'll always keep me_   
_Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you_   
  
_I hope I'm not a casualty,_   
_Hope you won't get up and leave_   
_Might not mean that much to you_   
_But to me it's everything, everything_

 

Harry came in as Louis sang the last verse, with me trying to harmonize to him. Harry clapped loudly when Louis finished his 'everything'.

"That was... amazing! Who is it about?" Harry asked.

"My girlfriend, Eleanor." Louis smirked, and Harry's face sort of fell. "And Zayn's secret crush," Louis smirked, which made my cheeks burn. Luckily, it doesn't show - thanks to my olive skin. Harry however, looked rather shocked by Louis' last sentence.

"Oh.. Who's the lucky person, Zayn?" Harry asks, trying to sound nonchalant - but not quite succeeding. He was too excited, and his eyes were shining too brightly.

"Uhm... Liam," I mumble - wanting to facepalm at my own lie especially seeing as Harry's face fell, and Louis starting to laugh. 

"Oh man! I have to tell him!" Louis chuckled loudly - and ran out the door. Probably on his way to tell Liam that I have a secret crush on him or something. 

"Lou!!" I yell, but he doesn't listen. Whether it's by choice or because he's too far away for my voice to reach his ears - I don't know. "Damn," I whisper.

"It's okay, Zayn. Li-Liam is a v-very hand-handsome g-guy, a-and I un-understand why y-you fell f-for him."

"I don't fancy Liam, Harry." I mumble, taking in his crumbled face - who instantly brightened up at my words.

"Re-really?" 

"Really, truly."

Harry kind of leaned into me, giving me a hug. I hugged him back just as tightly as he held onto me. When we let go of each other, he looked into my eyes as I looked into his. His gorgeous, gorgeous green eyes. They were enchanting me, and before I knew it - his breath hitched over my own lips. I licked my eyes in anticipation, and before I knew it - I have closed the gap between us, and electricity ran through my body. Someone gasped - it might have been me, but I'm pretty sure it was Harry - and before I know it - our tongues were battling for dominance. He let me win, and his mouth was mine for the taking. He tasted like mint and banana, and it was driving me insane. I wanted more. My heart was pounding.

"Holy fuck!" Louis yelled - and Harry and I were apart, both breathing heavily, Liam giggled slightly - like he was a little uncomfortable or something.

"I thought you had the hots for Liam, mate!" Louis yelled, and of course - George and his gang were walking passed, sniggering as they walked past, muttering "fags" under their breaths.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'Moon River' lyrics is sung by Frank Sinatra, 'I love you' lyrics (just the first verse + chorus, really) is sung by Celine Dion, and 'Truly Madly Deeply' is by the boys, of course. And yeah, I did add 'The Wanted' in this - strictly as bullies. There'll be some gay slurs and swear words - just saying.


	7. Chapter 7

I was playing my guitar with Liam sitting beside me, when Louis came storming in - cackling like a madman. 

"Zayn's in love with a certain Li-am!" He had made a sing-song, and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. Especially when I saw the look of horror on Liam's face.

"Wh-what?" 

"Zayn has a crush on you!" Louis laughed, and plopped down beside me.

"B-but I-I don't like Zayn like that..." Liam mumbled.

"Come with me, then! Hey, Niall! Can you, uhm, maybe help me with a melody to the song Zayn and I wrote? It's a love song to Eleanor, the sweetest girl who ever lived... Please have that in mind."

"I can look into it..." I mumbled, and took the piece of paper he handed me. 

"Come with me, Li!" Louis yelled, and took Liam's hand - and dragged him away from our room. Liam looked terrified and mouthed the words _'help me'_ to me. I just laughed slightly. 

The loud ringing came - and it was time for either food or auditioning again. I was slightly shaking. The lyrics Louis and Zayn had written was beautiful, and it made me question my own skill when it came to writing and finding the perfect melody. I think  had done it with Louis' and Zayn's song - I just had to run it through with them now. 

I stopped in my track when I saw Siva. What was he even doing here? "Siva?"

"Niall?!" Siva was just as shocked to see me as I was to see him. "Hey man! What are you doing here?" 

"Uhm... si-singing a-and wr-writing."

"Me too. This is Nathan, Max, Tom and Jay." Siva said, as he sort of mentioned to the four guys standing beside him. 

"Guys, this is Niall. Fellow Irish guy, and ..."

"Niall!!" Louis' voice were harsh, loud and you could tell he wasn't joking around. 

"Siva, that is Louis.."

"You're hanging out with the fags, dude?" One of the guys Siva was hanging around were being loud, I don't know his name.

"Shut up, Tom." Siva were embarrassed, but his voice wasn't above a whisper.

"NI-ALL!" Louis screeched, his voice breaking, making the four of the guys sniggering. Not Siva though.

"I-I have to go," I mumbled, patting Siva's back - and he patted my back in return. 

"See ya, Niall," Siva mumbled back, and with sadness in our eyes - we realised we probably couldn't hang out like we used to do - due to our friends obviously not getting along. Four friends were better than one - which kind of sucked. Siva was a pretty great mate - and yeah, I've had a few wet dreams concerning him. Not that I'd ever tell him that, or anyone else for that matter. There's a reason why he's a model, and he could definitely give Zayn a run for his money. Probably not Liam, though.

"Bye Siva," my voice was hardly a whisper, and I went to sit down next to Louis. His whole body was shaking with anger.

 

"What the hell were you doing with  _them_?" Louis spat as soon as I sat down.

"Hmm? Siva?" I was curious.

"George and Parker," Louis grumbled.

"Who's George and Parker?" My face was blank. I had no idea who they were - honestly.

"Max George and Tom Parker," Zayn whispered. "They were our strongest competition - and now they've got three other guys joining them. They used to make fun of Louis and me for being ... gay. You were standing next to them..."

"Oh. I know Siva - the guy who patted me on the back? We, uh, we're friends. Kind of."

"Good friends?" Louis' eyes were almost like slits.

"Erm, no. Not really. He's a few years older than me, after all, but... I consider him a mate."

"His  _mates_ are fucking arseholes..." Louis grumbled. "Figure out where your loyalty lies, Niall." 

"What?" I mumble, but Zayn give me an apologetic look, and he's strutting away with Louis. I just stare after them - wondering what the hell happened.

 

"Hi Louis. Zayn. Harry." I mumble. "I-I finished the melody to your song, Louis." I whisper. 

"Play it for me," Louis says, his voice was still icy. 

"O-okay." I pick up my guitar, and gently play the melody to Zayn and Louis. When I finish, I can see all three of them have tears in their eyes.

"Oh fuck me sideways, Niall!" Louis groaned, as he wiped at his eyes. "Eleanor is going to fucking love this... Niall, you just made my lovelife and sexlife explosive again! You, my man, is a stand up dude - and you'll make some lady very happy one day. Or dude. Whatever rocks your boat, man." He winked at me, his eyes showing that he probably started crying the moment I started strumming on my guitar.

"Did you like it?" I mumble, my face red and hot by their stares.

"Like it? I fucking loved it!" Louis cheered. "Right Zayn?"

"Yeah. Fucking awesome, Niall. The perfect melody to the perfect love song," his eyes wandering over Harry, and he blushed at Zayn's words.

"Can I have a word, Harry?" I mumble, and Harry nod vigorously.

"Yeah, 'course Niall." 

We walk to the bathroom, and lock ourselves inside. A giggle escape us both, and before I know it - we're laughing ourself silly. As I try to catch my breath, I notice that Harry tries to catch his breath as well. I don't really know what we're lauhing about to be honest, but it felt kind of good. 

"What's going on between you and Zayn?" I whisper, and Harry blush under my gaze. 

"We made out. Three times." 

"What does it.. feel like? Kissing someone?"

"It feels... electrifying. Satisfying. Brilliant. And your heart beats so fast, and your lips tingle. I like when Zayn pulls on my hair." 

"I've never kissed anyone," I whisper, "so I don't really know."

"To be fair, I've never kissed anyone who kisses as good as Zayn.. and his lips are very kissable - let me tell you. I think Liam might have kissable lips too, but I've never really looked at his lips."

"Probably," I mumble and blush all over. Of course Liam has kissable lips, and of course I've thought about pressing my lips against his - if I wasn't so scared to actually do it that is. 

"Did you know that Zayn mumbled that he liked Liam, but that he wasn't really?"

"I might have heard Louis yell it to Liam, yes." I smile a little, but I know for a fact that it  hurt a lot. Didn't Harry say that Zayn had made out with him three times? 

"Don't worry. Zayn doesn't like Liam like that, I don't think. I think he might like me like that, though. He does smile a lot after we've made out." Harry says, and he has that far-away look in his eyes. 

"I wasn't worried..." I say, but Harry just shushes me. 

"I was," Harry admitted, "but when Louis ran out, Zayn went white for just a second, and then he kissed me."  

I just laughed. "We should probably get back." 

 

I felt a little better after my chat with Harry, and I almost groaned in frustration when the frigging bell started to chime - telling me it was time for something. Possibly a meal - at least I hoped it was. I was starving again - but looking at my clock - I knew it was probably time for a performance or something.

"We are having a duet planned for your next time performing. No one will be kicked out today, _unfortunately_ , but at least three of you will leave in two days' time. That's the day of your duets, by the way." Simon Cowell sounded so harsh as he looked at us saying this. I had a feeling he didn't like me, even though I haven't done anything to suggest that he'd ever like or dislike me. 

"Want to partner up with me?" Liam whispered as he leaned over, his hot breath tickling my ear, making goosebumps appear all over my body - as my face also started to heat up. 

"Okay," I whisper back. 

"Team up, Niall?" Louis asked, slighty in a higher voice than Liam, making both Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell glare at him. "Wha'?" Louis almost shouted out making Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh glare even more in our direction.

"Shh," I tug on his arm. "And I already agreed to do a duet with Liam." I whisper.

"We were given the assignment only frigging two seconds ago!" Louis exclaimed, but mumbled out an appology when he saw everyone - including Liam - giving him a hard stare.

"Mr Tomlinson and Mr Horan, please see us after we've done with this announcement." Mr. Cowell huffed, and both Louis and I nodded. I was feeling terrified, but looking at Louis' feature, he probably thought that this was the best thing to ever happen to him!

 

****Louis POV****

 

Okay, so call me frigging selfish - but working with Niall was probably my best shot at getting to stay in this competition. Of course, when Liam had whispered into his ear that he wanted to pair up with Niall. Who wouldn't, right? But Liam hadn't been there when Niall played Zayn, Harry and me the melody to the song Zayn and I wrote. But then again, Liam being totally in love with Niall probably knew how frigging awesome his crush was already. 

Niall looked absolutely terrified when Mr. Cowell asked to see us afterwards - but I couldn't even begin to comprehand my luck. Of course he'd let me work with Niall now! 

"So, work hard - and please try to work out some harmonies. You may get a bonus if you've written the song yourselves - but we do accept covers as well. Good luck," Simon said, and then cleared his throat. "Tomlinson. Horan." 

"I'm really sorry for speaking loudly during your speech, Mr. Cowell. It's just, Niall here, is a really talented writer and he has a knack for melody as well, and I thought I..."

"No. You can not work with Mr. Horan, Mr. Tomlinson."

"But... why?" I knew I sounded like a whiney toddler, but I didn't care. I knew I could make Mr Cowell change his mind - if Niall wanted to work with me instead of Liam, that is. 

"It's a roommate challenge, and you and Mr. Horan do not share a room. You'll have to work with Styles and Malik, Tomlinson." 

"But... that's not fair!" I banged my fists on his desk. Why can't I work with Niall? Why does Liam have all the advantage? It's not fair!" Okay, so I was definitely acting like some sort of toddler who wouldn't get his own way... But, did I mention that Niall was like, my frigging Idol? 

"What do you say, Niall?" Mr. Walsh spoke up.

"About what, exactly?" He whispered, barely looking up at Mr. Walsh or Mr. Cowell. Hell, he wouldn't even look at me!

"About working with Tomlinson. Or do you want to work with your room mate? Mr. Payne, correct?" Mr. Walsh asked.

Niall just shrugged his shoulders, still not looking up. A blush was tinting his entire face as well as his ears. I saw he almost drew blood from biting his lip too hard.

"It seems like Mr. Tomlinson is willing to fight to work with you, Mr. Horan." Simon Cowell stated, but if you'd rather work with him instead of your room mate, I could probably make that happen. Only if you're willing."

I was shaking with anticipation, a huge smile on my face, I didn't tear my gaze away from Niall. I was pleading with him with my eyes, although he didn't look up. That was, until he took a deep breath. His face was still red, and then I noticed the tears were trailing down Niall's cheeks. He wouldn't look at me though.

"How do I choose?" He mumbled so quietly, I had trouble hearing him. I had my doubts Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh heard him. 


	8. Chapter 8

****Liam****

 

I was pacing the room I shared with Niall. I panicked, thinking that Louis had landed him in some sort of trouble when he had started practically shouting, or what if they kicked Niall out? Because he was so talented and brilliant. But wait, this was a thing to look for the 'next big thing' with talent, and damn it, if Niall didn't have enough talent... I'd quit if they kicked him out! Niall that is. I'm sad to say, but I don't really care that much about Louis. Wait, I do care about him! I just.. might care.. _more_ about Niall. 

My panic state ended fairly quick, as Niall dragged his body inside the room, and flopped onto the bed. His whole body was shaking, and yeah, my panic flared up again by the thousands.

"Niall?" I whispered, sitting on his bed, gently rubbing his back, and then I put my fingers through his hair. It really was as soft as it looked. A quiet sob came from Niall, and I went back to rubbing his back, and gently ran my fingers over his neck. It felt silky against my fingers, and I just didn't want to stop touching him. After a short while, Niall's body stopped to shake, which indicated that he had stopped crying. "Want to tell me what's wrong?"I kept my voice barely above a whisper, as I didn't want to upset him.

"Yeah." His voice was muffled by the pillow, but I heard him nonetheless.

"NI-ALL!!" Loud hammering against our door, as well as the shouting, indicated that Louis was at our door. 

Niall looked up in shock, and the mere sight of his tearstained face made my heart ache. So much in fact, that I wanted to cry by just looking at him. 

"Can you tell him I'm asleep? Please?" Niall mumbled softly, his eyes never leaving mine. 

"PLEASE NIALL!! OPEN THE DOOR!!" Louis continued to hammer against the door, whilst his shouting got even louder.

"Sure," I whispered, as Niall put his face down in the pillow again.

"NIA ..." The hammering and the shouting stopped as I opened the door. "Liam! Thank God. Is Niall here? Can I see him? Can I come in?" 

"Shh... Niall's asleep," I nodded my head to Niall's direction. 

"I need to appologise to him!" Louis blurted out.

"Why?" 

"I.. I don't know, okay? But I need to tell him I'm sorry... Can I wake him?" 

I raised my eyebrows at Louis. "You should probably figure out why you're going to say you're sorry before you wake him up."

"Okay, fine! I know why I need to appologise. Just, please let me?" 

I debated whether I wanted to help Louis out. He looked like he was hurting almost as much as Niall, but let's face it - Niall is my number one priority. 

"I don't know, Louis..."

"Please. It's important to me. And Niall. Please, Liam?" 

I just nodded, and let Louis in. Hoping it wasn't a mistake. 

 

"Niall?" Louis whispered softly, and I flinched when he ran his fingers through Niall's hair. "Please wake up..." Louis sounded close to tears.

Niall didn't react, to which I was kind of grateful. 

"I'm sorry, Niall. Really sorry. For whatever. I probably should've paid more attention to Simon and Mr. Walsh, and seen that you were uncomfortable, and I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry." The sob that escaped Louis almost sounded inhuman. "So fucking sorry..." 

Wait? What had Louis done that made Niall uncomfortable? Right, now was not the time to question that. I was about to go over to Louis myself to comfort him, but Niall beat me to it.

"Not your fault, Tommo."

"It is, though." Louis mumbled, and then, all of a sudden, I was the third wheel all over again - as my heart shattered as Louis and Niall gave each other the most bonecrushing and longest lasting hug ever - seeming to never want to let go of each other. 

 

I coughed to make them stop hugging. "It's nearly ten." I said, voice a little harsher than I intended. 

"Does this mean I get to stay?" Louis smirked.

"No. It means you have to leave now." I said, almost dragging him away from Niall and to the door. 

"See you guys tomorrow then!" Louis skipped out the door, before he gave Niall a wink and a wave. Niall waved back at him. 

 

"What was that about?" I asked, before the silence almost killed me. 

"Huh?" Niall looked confused, and just damn well adorable.

"Nothing," I mumble, stumbling to my own bed. "Why were you so upset?" I asked.

"Can we talk 'morrow?" Niall muttered, a yawn escaping twice during his question.

"Sure," I mumble, feeling sorry for myself. I prayed to God that I escape the nightmares tonight. 

 

  ****Niall****

 

I wake up, to a tossing and turning and muttering and moaning Liam. As I reach for my phone to check what time it is - I groan when I see it's 2:26 AM. I lay silently, trying to comprehand what it means to suddenly be the one 'everyone' wanted to hang around. Me, Niall Horan, who only had two mates. Sean. And my dad. Yeah. I am that kind of loser. And then I hung around like two or three other people, but they weren't classified as mates - more like they were acquaintances.

When Liam made a whimper in his sleep, I couldn't handle it anymore. It broke my heart. I made my way over to his bed, and murmured as softly as I could. "Liam? Wake up. You're having a bad dream." He only tossed and turned, and whimpered a little bit more. I ran my fingertips softly over his face, as well as I ran my fingers through his hair - like he had done for me. It felt really good when he did it to my hair, and I hoped he'd enjoy as well. "Liam? Please wake up.." I murmured, so softly. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, and I gently wiped them away. I gently, oh ever so very gently, ran my index finger over his chapped lips. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to press my lips against his. One part of my brain (the better half?) shouted at me to stop this now, whereas the other part of my brain (the bad part?) shouted at me that I deserved my first kiss! I didn't act on it or anything, but I bet I could wake Liam up if I did actually press my lips against his.

With a slight shriek, Liam opened his eyes. "Hi," I whispered. "Did you have a nightmare?" 

"Yeah," Liam seemed to fight to breathe normally. "What time is it?" 

"Dunno. I woke up at 2:26 though. It's probably nearly 3 AM now."

"Oh.. Sorry." Liam looked really embarrassed, but I decided to just run my fingers through his hair again. His breathing hitched slightly, and as I ran my fingers over his cheek, I could feel it was slighty warmer than it was before. 

"Feels nice?" I murmur, and he just leans into my hand. I gently caressed his cheek as he leaned into my hand.

"Yeah. Uh, I w-was wondering i-i-if you could maybe, cuddle with me?"

"Sure," I agreed before I even knew what I was agreeing to, but right now, I couldn't even care less. I became somewhat aware when he sort of rolled closer to the wall a little bit more, opened the duvet and made grabby arms at me. What a cutie-pie, might I just add..

"You comin'?" 

I nodded, and slipped right next to him. "Cuddle?" I ask, and he came somewhat even closer than before. My heart was beating faster than when I was running the 65 yard, and I was absolutely certain that he could both hear and feel it. 

"Cuddles always makes me feel better when I have nightmares," he murmured softly in my ear.

"Want to tell me 'bout them?"

"Later," he promised. 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but it was almost impossible when Liam's smell was so intoxicating. He smelt of slight sweat, musk, deoderant and a little bit of cotton. And before I knew it, I was out for the count.

 

  ****Louis****

 

 

I slumped at my bed, seeing Harry and Zayn close. It felt rather weird, mainly because Zayn had sworn on his life that he was straight when we first met. I dunno, I've never been that certain myself - and I'd never in a million years say that I was 100 % straight. I mean, sure I love Eleanor - we've been on and off for about three years now, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy watching a man swaggering his stuff around. 

I sigh, as I think about the day I've had. I had a feeling I probably made things a little bit harder for both Niall and Liam. Yeah, I'm not stupid. I knew when someone didn't want me in their space, like Liam. It's so obvious that Niall and Liam fancy each other - and I can sort of understand both of them. 

Niall is a bundle of sunshine, and he's so damn talented when it comes to finding the right melody, the right lyrics and the right mood. Y'know? He's kind of the skinny side for me - although I don't really know how it's even possible, because he told me he could eat the entire menu of Nando's in almost an entire sitting! 

As for Liam - he has the whole puppy look - the eyes, the body, the maturity that I seem to lack. He's only 17 - going on 30! I kind of thought that if Zayn would have a crush on someone - it'd be someone like Liam. Not that there's anything wrong with Harry. I just thought that if Zayn realised he was gay - he'd be gay for Liam. Or maybe Niall, because Niall is just so damn loveable. 

As for Harry - I like teasing the guy a little bit. He gets so aggitated it's kind of funny. And it seems like that apart from his obvious crush on Zayn, he's very close to Liam. Just like Liam. Hmm.. So, everyone kind of has a thing for Liam it seems. I mean, sure, I kind of do too, to a certain extent.. I mean, not like that - but he probably reminds me more of Eleanor than any of the other three - because she too has the puppy look! 

I snap out of my thoughts as a very tired voice mumbles above a whisper.

"Wha' you doin' up, Lou?" 

"Nothin'. Liam kicked me out after I cuddled with Niall."

"Can ya blame 'im?" 

"Nah.. Not really. When did you and Harry become cuddle-buddies?" When I don't get an answer, I huff impatiently. "Zayn..."

"I don't ... know. He's an affectionate lad, who constantly wants hugs or kisses."

"And you'd happily give him those hugs and kisses, do ya?" 

"Well..." Zayn mumbles, but he doesn't say anything else. After about three minutes of silence - a soft snore is heard, and I assume that Zayn had fallen back asleep. As I didn't really have anything else to do - I decided to just follow in Zayn's footstep, as well as Harry, and try and fall asleep. I don't seem to have anything better to do. Before I close my eyes - I decide to open up my phone. A tiny sob escape my mouth as I see I have about 10 messages from the same person, and I open them and read them. 

Eleanor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the slight cliffhanger.. Don't know when the next update will be, but hopefully it'll be before March come around ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day :) Enjoy!

****Louis****

 

I can't help but cry when I see the last one of the texts Eleanor had sent me, and right underneath it is a picture to tell me that it is indeed real. 

_I know this is sudden - and this is a terrible way 2 tell u, esp over txt.. but I dunno when I'll see u again... and I can't keep it 2 myself anymore... We're gonna b parents!! I love u xxx_

The picture was of a fetus, with the caption of 'Calder, Eleanor' - week 12.

I smile through my tears as I read through all my text messages again from the very beginning. 

_I miss u loads, Dani is keeping me company bt she's not u.. luv u loads xx_

_I feel like shit babe. I think its bcos I miss u too much.. Hope u have fun, exams r no fun. I love u xx_

_Gah.. Threw up again.. Dani is taking me 2 the doctor, she's sick of me bein' sick.. Dont worry tho, luv u xx_

_FUCK BABE!! ASDFGHJKL!!! Not happenin' Lou! IT CAN'T!!! XX_

_Sorry, LouBear... Love u lots and lots xx_

I read the last message she sent me once again - the tears were flooding over and I wanted to shout out in pure happiness. Gone were thoughts of making Niall smile, make Harry angry, and embarrass Liam. Or do pranks with Zayn. I am going to be a daddy. The best daddy there ever was in the entire world.. 

_I know this is sudden - and this is a terribe way 2 tell u, esp over txt.. but I dunno when I'll see u again... and I can't keep it 2 myself anymore... We're gonna b parents!! I love u xxx_

Then the picture, and I kissed the attachement that said 'Calder, Eleanor - week 12'. "I love you already fetus Calder Tomlinson," I whispered to my phone, and I found my favourite photo of Eleanor, and kissed it softly. Eleanor hated that I had this photo of her on my phone, because she wasn't wearing any make-up, her hair was a mess to put it mildly - and she still looked like the prettiest girl in the world. 

I whisper-kissed my phone every two seconds, and all of a sudden - I felt myself wanting to go home even more than ever, mainly because I wanted to see El again, and trail my fingers over her (possible) baby buimp, whilst hugging it and giving it kisses. I was going to be a Daddy!! FINALLY!! I wanted to scream and shout. I wanted to wake everyone up, especially Zayn. And Niall seemed like he loved kids as much as me. Liam - because he had the same puppy-look like Eleanor, and I think I could even give him a pucker-on-the-lips. And Harry, I wanted to pucker up to him too - mainly because... Well, why the hell not?! But then, all of a sudden, I realised, I didn't want this. I want to spend my time with Eleanor, this baby - and be a family. I'd miss Zayn the most, because I've known him the longest. As for the other three - well, I'd miss them too... Maybe I could get a snog out of the four of them now? Just because I'm going to be a daddy - and leave. I've made my mind up, anyway. 

 

I woke up earlier than I've ever woken up before in my entire life. I was eleated by the fact I was going to be a daddy. I almost ran into Parker, and heard him mutter 'faggot' under his breath. Meh, not even Parker could ruin my mood today! 

"Mr. Cowell! Mr. Cowell!" I knock on his door, and hop on my feet whilst I wait for him to open his door, or at least yell that it was open. Nothing. Absolutely nada.

I sigh, and retreat to my room. Zayn and Harry are already awake - kissing, whispering and giggling. I sigh, albeit a little quieter this time, but I don't think they even noticed me. I had already made my mind up though. I was going to go home, I just had to tell Mr. Cowell before I could tell the other guys. I'm about to be a dad.

 

****Niall****

 

I almost freak out when I wake up, when I feel someone's arm is holding me down and close to them. I could feel this person's breath on my neck, and I shiver slightly. This person groans a little in protest when I try and turn around to see their face.

"Stay still and sleep some more, Niall... 'M tired."

Liam. Okay. No need to panic anymore. I breathe out a little before I whisper to him. "We have to get up though..." I say, and strech a little. It was also warm, the duvet and Liam's body heat made sure of that. I was always a little cold whenever I woke up in the morning, so it felt kind of good to wake up warm.

"Stay..." Liam mumbles, as his arms tighten around my waist. "Sleep." He mumbles again, and then his breathing even out again. I wait a little bit, before I try and wriggle around to try and get up. I also needed the bathroom. When I got up though, I made a huge mistake of actually taking in the view in front of me. Liam - asleep. 

My heart skips several beats as I take in his beauty. His eyelashes were long, and his face was relaxed. There was slightly a small smile on his face as well, which made me realise that he was happy - which surprisingly made me happy as well. 

Not that I was unhappy per say. I just really missed my dad. Like, just missed him telling him about my day, and me hearing about his. Us joking around, and me playing the latest riff I've come up with, or a lyric that had bothered me until I've written it down and told him all about it... If I felt really brave, I'd sing it to him as well.

"Niall?" 

I snap out of my daydream of missing my dad, as Liam's confused and slightly hoarse voice brings me back to reality. 

"Ye-yeah?" My voice breaks slightly as I try to answer him so that he hears me.

"Come back to bed, please?" 

How can he be so adorable? Like, seriously? 

"Uh... S-sure," I stutter out before I wash my hands. And then, just thinking about it, I brush my teeth too... A fresh minty breath is better, if Liam wanted to talk rather than a stinking morning breath. After all, I think it is. Teeth hygiene is very important to me, after all. 

I take a deep breath, and try to calm myself down before I open the bathroom door. So many thoughts are going through my mind - it's insane. I breathe again, and tap myself on my wrists and on my face - whilst counting softly to myself. 'One two three, one two three, one two three,' as I tap away. It helps slightly, but I'm still so very nervous. I don't know why either.

"Niall? You comin'?"

And there it was. My heart was beating so wildly in my chest, almost as it wanted to beat itself out of my chest and start a life of its own, as Liam's voice filled my ears once more. As I open up the door, the sight that greeted me, made my stomach to somersaults of its own by just looking at another person. Weird. Totally weird. 

"You comin'?" Liam smiled at me, a huge wide smile, his eyes crinckled ever so slightly - so adorable! 

"Yeah.." I breathed as I tried to take steps towards him. As I was at the bed and was going to lay down next to him, I loose my balane and I fall on top of Liam. A grunt left my mouth as I fell, and an 'oof' sound came from him. "S-sorry," I mumble as I quickly try and get off of him. Cue word, try.

"Hi," Liam laughs, and he sort of holds me so I can't get off him. "I didn't know it was this easy to make you fall for me," he giggled at his own 'joke'. At least, I think he's joking. 

"Haha.. Let me go." I blush slightly under his stare.

"Nah... Mine!" He then pouts as I try and loose his hold on me. He's stronger than me, even though I'm on top, but he does let go when my breathing slightly hitches. "Sorry," he mumbles. 

I breathe normally two seconds later, as I sort of plump down from on top of Liam to laying next to him. "I'm the one to say 'sorry'," I say. "I was the one who fell on top of you, and knocked the wind out of you." 

"Nah.. You're not heavy..."

We lay in silence for a moment. An awkward silence, let me add.

"Want to talk about what your nightmares are about?" I say as Liam muttered out, "Want to talk about why you were upset last night?" 

We both sigh. "You go first," Liam whispers, as he trail his fingers through my hair. "I'm not really ready... yet," he adds, and I just nod. 

"Okay," I murmur. I take a deep breath.

"So, y'know Louis and me went to see Mr. Cowell and Mr. Walsh? And Louis said he'd want to work with me.. And then Mr. Cowell said it was a room mate assignment this time, and then Louis threw a fit.. and then Mr. Cowell and Mr. Walsh were pressuring me for an answer.. And I told them that you already had asked me anyway, and that I'd agreed.. But then Louis was all like, in my face." I look at Liam's face, and see him frowning. "No, not like he was aggressive in my face or anything like that... I think Louis kind of likes my take on writing.. y'know? And I think he wants to assure his place here for a little bit longer. That's what he told me yesterday, anyway... But anyway, I'm not used to people wanting to spend time with me.. Weirdly as that probably sound to someone like you.. And.."

"What do you mean, 'someone like me'?" Liam interrupts me, his frown still showing on his face.

"Not.. I mean... Like, I bet you're really popular.. I'm not.. popular, y'know? And now, there's like, you and Louis wanting to spend time with me, and write with me.. And I'm just not.. used to it." I look at Liam, and his big brown eyes are wide.

"I'm not... popular at all, actually." He whispers softly, still running his fingers through my hair. Weirdly as it sounds, it relaxes me - big time. 

"But, you're like..." I start, but he just shakes his head. 

"Later.. You were saying?" He tries to smile, but I can see the pain behind his eyes. I know it, because it's the same kind of pain that greets my reflextion every morning. 

"Anyway, I'm not used to people 'fighting' over spending time with me, y'know? And I know, you and Louis aren't actually fighting over me, but I didn't... I couldn't... I-I like you, Liam. Like, I don't know.. You're so serious about this, and you're really deep. But I like Louis, too. He's funny. He always cracks me up, and he says the funniest things.. And..."

"Yeah..." Liam says. His somewhat 'hurt' expression faded when I said I liked him, but it were full on when I mentioned Louis, and I don't really understand why.. "Louis is a fun guy," Liam murmurs. His fingers never leaving my hair, which is really nice. 

"Anyway... I didn't know what to do, because Mr. Cowell and Mr. Walsh were saying all these things, and they were leaving everything in my hands, and.. I couldn't deal with it any other way than by being a big baby.."

"You're not a baby.." Liam murmurs in my ear. "If you're crying, it just shows that you're in touch with your emotions." 

Tears are already pooling up in my eyes as he says this, but it seems like he can tell - because his fingertips leave my hair, and gently caress my cheek as to stop the tears from falling. 

"Thank you," I try and smile, but I probably just make an awful grimace at him. 

"I'd do anything for you," he whispers, and give me the most heartbreaking smiles there ever was. 

My heart was humming as a hummingbird let loose, and my mind was going a million miles a minute like it was almost shouting out to me:  _'I am so fucked right now!'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of Zarry in the last chapters (as well as this one...) The next chapter will be about them...


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some Zarry! Sorry again about 'ignoring' Zarry for the last chapters... So, Zarry are now sleeping (just sleeping - not any naughty stuff - apart from snogging!) in the same bed...

****Zayn****

 

It sort of feels weird, this feeling. My head is constantly telling me "I  _can't_ be gay. Hell, _I AM NOT GAY!_ " My heart, however, is on a different planet than me all together. Especially my head that keeps whispering these mantras about me not being gay! 

_"You find Harry attractive. You even found George attractive back when he seemed an alright dude. And Louis.. You're definitely finding Niall appealing, and Liam's eyes almost had you hooked from the second you laid eyes on the poor lad! And why does everything just feels so natural with Harry? His gorgeous, gorgeous green eyes and his perfect curls..."_ My heart whispers ever so sweetly to me. My mind however, wants to throw up by even thinking this. _"I am NOT gay!"_  

Yes. Harry. I've given into temptation for six quick pecks, and fifteen heavy snogging session that left both of us in... let's say,  _desperate_ situations all fifteen times. He's only so young, but I don't think he knows and would understand if I told him I'm not gay. 

"Hnngfuerjuc," Harry mumbles in his sleep, and my heart skips a beat right there and then at the adorableness that is Harry Styles. I know my weakness, it's just because he's so damn adorable. With his sweet dimples, his eyes that captivates me every single time, and when he pucker up, it never seems like I can tell him 'no'. 

"Sleep..." Harry mumble, as he thrashes in the bed, accidentially punching my nose. I groan in pain. Harry opens his eyes when I'm groaning, and he becomes visibly paler than he was whilst he was sleeping. "Your nose, bleeding." He mumbles.

"Aaahhh..." I groan. I wear a white t-shirt to bed because I'm not comfortable not wearing a shirt to bed, and as I look down, I see it's already covered in blood. 

Harry is already tumbling out of bed, and he slips a little and almost falls. I swear, he looks just like Bambi on ice. Just as adorable too, might I just add... 

"Here," Harry hands me a wet towel.

"Huh?" I know I might seem like an idiot right now, but I really have no idea why he's holding a wet towel for me. Why not just a dry towel? 

"Gimme," Harry snaps the towel away from me, and pries my hands away from my sore and bloody nose. He gently wiped away the blood from my face, and he seemed so concentrated. His tongue sticking out. A rush of lust going through my veins of just seeing him so concentrated. 

"Nnnngggg," I wince as he gently puts the wet towel on my nose, and he dabs it as well. It really hurt, okay? 

"Sorry.. sorry.. You okay?" His voice is almost soft, which sounds really weird to my ears. He's usually so loud, and so 'Harry'. 

"Yeah," I breathed softly, but I groan as he gently push the towel to my nose once again. 

"I didn't mean it..." Harry whispered, and then I realised why he was so quiet. He was sad, and his eyes were rapidly filled with tears. Now, I'm an emotional guy as well, but Harry is probably even worse than me. 

"Hey, Haz. It's okay. It just hurts, you know? It'll get better..." I try to soothe him, but it seems like I'm doing it all wrong, because the tears spill over, and roll down his cheeks. 

"I-I-I-I'm s-s-so-so so-sorry," Harry sobs, and his whole body is shaking. I don't know what possesses me to do it, but I gently press my lips on his. He does respond really quickly to my kiss, thank God, but the guilt is suddenly ten-fold worse. I am so using him, I realize, and I didn't even want to. Use him. A huge part of me did actually want to kiss him, mark him as mine, being his boyfriend, and him being mine. The other part of me knew that could never happen. 

"See... your kiss makes it all better," I smile to him, and I want to shout out for making things even worse. Why does my brain blurt out things I don't want to blurt out - when it comes to Harry? I never had these kind of "secrets spilled" when I had been with guys before, and with girls it never happened either.

"You're so sweet," Harry mumbles, as he kisses me again, and I moan when his tongue gently probes my lips to deepen the kiss. I let him in without questions asked, but when his smile with dimples and all, and his eyes starry, Zayn felt his heart breaking for what he had to tell Harry. 

"Haz.... I-I love you." I grimace a little at my 'confession', but at least Harry doesn't seem to catch on with my internal battle. 

"I-I love you too, Zayn." He mumbles as he gently puts his lips back onto mine. 

"Be my boyfriend?" I say as soon as his lips leave mine, and I want to groan for being even stupider than the stupidest person alive! It'll break him to know I'm not gay now! He might seem 'tough' for people who doesn't know him, but he'll be so easy to break. 

"Really? You really want to be  **MY** boyfriend, Zayn?"

"Yeah... So what do you say, Hazzy?" 

"Hazzy... I like it! And I'll be honoured to be your boyfriend, Zayn. Of course I'll accept!"

He throws himself at me, his long limbs surrounding my body, and we were tangled in what limbs and lips. As his tongue gently licks at my lips, I felt his face heat up a little, but it doesn't really mean anything. It can't mean anything. _It can't._ I have to be straight. My treacherous heart doesn't seem to agree with my head and reasoning. 

 

****Harry****

 

Is this really real? Did Zayn actually ask me to be his boyfriend? Of course I accepted as soon as he asked! I mean, he is so dreamy after all. After a long and intense snogging session, we were interrupted by Louis stomping in. 

"Hey. Good snogging session?" He laughed, and it looked like he gave Zayn a somewhat 'longing' look. 

"It was great," I mumble, and I felt like my cheeks were forever red and blushed. 

"Really great," Zayn murmur in my ear, which causes my face to heat up even more. I think I am dreaming, because this just doesn't happen to me. 

"Anyway... I won't keep you long, you know. I wanted to tell Cowell first, but I can't seem to find him. Anyway, I-I have to leave. Like, immediately."

"Wh-what?" Zayn is really pale.

"Not because of something bad, Zaynie. No, in fact, I'm way over the moon! Over the moon, I tell ya!" Louis is laughing like he's some sort of madman, and he looks like one too. "In fact, I feel like freaking SUPERMAN!" He shouts out, and it hurts my ears. He's laughing even more now, and flipping kiss Zayn in front of me. On the lips! I see red, and flail myself at them!

I punch something, and loud groan makes me so proud of myself. Until I see what had happened that is! It's Zayn and his nose is bleeding again. I'm the worst boyfriend ever!

"Don't touch," Zayn hisses, as I try to gently put my fingers over his nose to add to some pressure. 

"Eugh, blood.." Louis says, as he pales - and he falls to the floor. 

"He's such a pussy when it comes to blood," Zayn mumbles, and we both fall down to our knees to check on Louis. Well, Zayn is. I am more concerned about Zayn wanting to stay my boyfriend than anything else, and I want to put some pressure onto his nose so it'll stop bleeding. 

"Sorry.. I don't like sharing what's mine." I mumble.

"Huh? Oh.. Oh, yeah.. Heh.." Zayn says, but I realise he isn't saying anything. 

"Are you still mine, Zayn?" I mumble.

"Of course. Only yours," Zayn says, before I even finish saying his name. 

My heart flutters in anticipation, as he comes closer and nuzzles me really close. I can see he is still bleeding, but right now I don't care. All I care is to feel as close to him as humanly possible. I want to claim his mouth as mine, or him to claim my mouth as his.. And mark each other as true lovers. His lips feels soft against my cheek. "Only yours, Hazzy." 

"Only yours, Zaynie." I mumble.

"Gah.. You're disgustingly cute!" Louis shouts from the floor.. "And you don't even care about me, do ya?" 

"We do," Zayn says. "But, yeah, just so you know.. Harry doesn't like.. sharing." Zayn giggles a little, and I'm feeling slightly lightheaded because of the sweet sound he's making. 

"Well, yeah.. I am leaving, by the way. El... El's pregnant!"

"Who's the baby's daddy, faggot? Seriously, it can't be _you!_ " Someone sneered from the doorway.

"It is me, you fucking fucker!" Louis got his colour back now, and his face was red from anger.

"Huh, yeah.. right! You don't fool me.. Anyway, Cowell wants to see you, _Fag_ linson." And with that, he slammed our door shut.

"I got to go.. and explain to Mr. Cowell. I'll come and pack later, and maybe we can get Niall and Liam in here, so I can say goodbye to them too?"

"Are you really leaving to be with Eleanor, Lou?" Zayn's voice is sounding ... strange. 

"Yeah. Definitely leaving to be with my Eleanor." Louis says, his eyes sparkling with joy. He gives Zayn a big hug, and this time he kisses my cheek. "Go and tell Niall and Liam to be here when I come back, okay? I want to say goodbye to them too."

"Okay," Zayn mumbles.. and he seems just that much sadder by the thought of Louis going to be with his girlfriend. Why? What am I missing? 

"Don't be sad, Zayn. I am so frigging happy right now, it's unreal. Yeah? You'll do fine without me. Anyway... I can't say I'll miss George and Parker.."

"No, definitely not," Zayn agrees, and Louis kisses Zayn's cheek once again. 

Yeah, so I do feel the old jealousy flaring up once again, but I try my best to keep calm. I even manage a smile for Louis, as he bounces out of the room.

"I'm definitely going to miss him," Zayn mumbles.

"Yeah... me too," I say, although that is a big, fat lie! If I have to see Louis kiss Zayn's cheek one more time, I definitely won't miss him at all. Besides, Zayn and I will have this big room all to ourselves now, and I find myself giddy by just thinking about it.

"Shall we go and fetch Niall and Liam?" Zayn holds his hand out to me, and I gladly take it. I even skip a little, which makes Zayn laugh a little. I fall even more in love with him than I thought was possibe. 


	11. Chapter 11

I want to ask Liam what his nightmare is about, but he is holding me too close to even get a sentence out. He gently let go of me, and I feel like I can finally breathe again.

"Did I... hurt you?" I mumble, but Liam just stares right ahead.

"Huh? N-no. 'Course not, Niall.." Liam mumbles, but I can almost see him struggling not to fall apart in front of me. I decided to let it go. 

"Want to go and get some writing done?" I whisper into his ear, and I can see him shudder slightly as my breath hits his ear. 

"O-okay," he stutters, and give me the biggest smile. I go to pick up my guitar when there's excessive knocking on our door. I look at Liam who looks just as confused as I'm feeling. 

"You expecting anyone?" Liam asks, but I just shake my head. "Yeah, me neither," he mumbles, before he opens the door. "Zayn. Harry. What're you doing here?" 

"Come to our room, please? It's important." Zayn says, and I can see he's close to tears. I almost stumble with my guitar in hand, but thankfully Liam helps me get my footing right. 

I take a look at Harry, and he's beaming with happiness - which makes things even weirder for me. So, Zayn's looking like he's going to a funeral of a loved one whereas Harry looked like he had gotten the best news of his life. Weird. I thought Harry and Zayn were like totally into each other.

"Okay. But, is everything.. like, okay?" I ask.

"Yeah... Just come as soon as you can?" Zayn says, his voice is monotone somehow - and I don't think I'll like it. 

"We'll be there in five, okay?" Liam says, and both Harry and Zayn goes back to their room, as Liam shuts the door.

"What do you think it is about?" I ask, but Liam just shrugs at me.

"I really have no idea." 

 

A few minutes later, Liam and I have both gotten properly dressed and brushed our teeth, and hurried down to the door that leads to Harry, Zayn and Louis' room. Liam knocks on the door, and sure enough, happy perky Harry opens the door. "Come on inside, guys!" 

"So... what is it?" I ask before I sit down on Louis' bed, Liam is sitting right beside me. Before Zayn or Harry can answer, Louis comes bouncing in. 

"Hey!" Louis' smile is unbelievably big, and just for a second I think Harry is in love with Louis, and they've both told Zayn that they're in love. "Am I glad that you guys are here! I've got some big news to tell you!" 

"What's up?" Liam asks, his eyebrows crooks up adorably, and for a tiny second I get lost in his gorgeous brown eyes. Until Louis says what he's saying though.

"Yeah.. 'bout that. I am leaving. Right now. Talked to Mister Cowell and everything."

"L-leaving?" I stutter out.

"Yeah. I.. Please don't cry, Niall me love. It's really good news, see. Eleanor, I told you about her, didn't I?" I just nod at what he was saying. It hurt too much to think of Louis leaving. "Well, see.. She's expecting. A baby. My baby! I'm going to be a dad! A dad! Me!" 

"Really? You're going to be a dad?" I squeal. 

"Indeed I am, Niall me love," Louis jokes, and I giggle slightly, my face a little red because of what he said. 

"So... You're going to be a dad? With your girlfriend? How far along is she?" Liam asks.

"12 weeks. Well, probably thirteen now, but.. why?" We all looked at Liam, but he just smirked. 

"So... you, uh, had unprotective sex with your girlfriend just before you auditioned for Mr. Cowell?" Liam sniggered.

"Spit it out, Payne!" Louis growled. 

"Nothing. Just, I wish you the best of luck." Liam said, as he held out his hand to Louis for him to shake. Louis however, had a total different idea than to shake hands, and smashed his lips onto Liam's. My heart almost broke when I saw Louis' tongue probe at Liam's lips, but Liam pushed Louis away before he opened his mouth. "What the hell man?!" Liam shouts.

"Nothing," Louis smirks, before he goes over to Harry and smashes his lips onto Harry's as well. I didn't see any tongues with Harry, and I don't know whether I am grateful, or saddened by that idea. After a loooong while, Louis pushes away from Harry, and moves on to Zayn. 

He doesn't smash his lips onto Zayn, but it is rather  _lovely_. As if a kiss could be lovely, I mean. I am totally mesmerised by the fact that Louis is kissing everyone. Well, everyone but me. I see that Louis is using his tongue with Zayn, and Zayn is letting him. I take a look at Harry, and he is almost steaming away. If this was a cartoon, hot steam would come out of his ears, and he would totally be green with envy. 

"I'll miss you, Lou-Lou." Zayn whimpers when they pull away from each other's lips.

"I'll miss you too, Zaynie." Louis says, and he gently cups Zayn's face. "Forever?"

"Forever." 

He comes closer to me, and then before I even know what to say, I feel his breath on my lips, and something wet and soft is pressing onto my lips.

_My first kiss. I am having my first kiss._

Something even wetter and softer is gently probing at my lips, and I gently open them. A sweet something is licking into my mouth, and I try to say something, but it probably sounded like a moan or something. 

"Did you like it, Niall me love?" Louis murmurs softly in my ear, and I feel my heart is bumping really fast, as well as my face is all red. I've finally had my first kiss. "Thanks for the goodbye kisses, guys. It was definitely a blast for me too!" Louis laughs, and then he goes to pack his things.

We all just sit in some sort of silence, not really understanding what is going on right now. Well, I can't speak for the other lads, but I am definitely thinking of what was going on. I've had my first kiss. A proper kiss, with tongues and everything.  _With a guy that is going to be a father_. But still, I've had my first kiss.  _With someone who doesn't love you, or probably even likes you. Whoop-de-doo!_

Louis is finished packing, by the looks of it. He is giving everyone hugs, and then he opens up his arms to me as well. I flung myself into his arms, tears escaping. Mainly because he was leaving, but also by the voice in my head saying that he doesn't like me. He probably likes Liam the most, and then Harry, and then Zayn, and me last. Yeah. 

"I really am going to miss you, Niall. Don't forget me when you're a huge star, on your freaking arena tour, selling million of albums, working with the likes of... who did you say you were a fan of?" 

"Justin Bieber." I mumble into his ear, and he laughs a little. 

"The likes of Justin Bieber," he murmurs softly into my ear. He gives me one last peck on my cheek, and I gently peck his cheek as well. 

"I'm going to miss you too. Send me a photo of Eleanor and your baby."

"Will do!" With one last wave to all of us, Louis slams the door behind him. 

I fling myself into Liam's arms, and he holds me whilst I cry. I really am going to miss Louis, and the way he always can make me smile and laugh, by just being himself. I think he did the right thing though. Being with his girlfriend when she was expecting his baby. He was going to have a family - and I wanted him to fully enjoy that experience. It was something I'd never experience for myself.

"Are you okay?" Liam whispers into my ear.

"Yeah.. I-I think I'm ready to write now." I state, a little too loudly. I flinch at the volume of my voice.

"What?" Liam looks like he might have died a little.

"I want to write a song for Louis, Eleanor and the baby they're expecting." I say to Liam, and for a nano-second, I swear see his eyes turn as black as coal, but they soon return to their warm, honey-brown colour. 

"Can we help?" Zayn whispers, his face was half burried in Harry's chest. 

"Uh.. Okay, if you want." I whisper. "I'll just go and get my guitar..." I murmur. I open the door, and see Louis standing there, with the biggest grin on his face.

"I'll send you the picture, if you promise to send me the song you're going to write for me, El and baby Bump."

"Deal." I earn myself another peck on the cheek, and then, Louis is gone. 

I already have words in my head, burning to get onto paper.

 

_You're just a small bump unborn_  
 _In four months you're brought to life_  
 _You might be left with my hair_  
 _But you'll have your mother's eyes_  
 _I'll hold your body in my hands_  
 _Be as gentle as I can_  
 _But for now your scan of my unmade plans_  
 _A small bump in four months you'll be brought to life_

_And I'll whisper quietly_  
 _I'll give you nothing but truth_  
 _If you're not inside of me_  
 _I'll put my future in you_

_You are my one and only_  
 _You can wrap your fingers around my thumb_  
 _And hold me tight_

_You're just a small bump unknown_  
 _You'll grow into your skin_  
 _With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin_  
 _Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice_  
 _And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide_  
 _A small bump_  
 _In four months you'll open your eyes_

_And I'll hold you tightly_  
 _And tell you noyhing but truth_  
 _If you're not inside me_  
 _I'll put my future in you_

_You can lie with me_  
 _With your tiny feet_  
 _When you're half asleep_  
 _I'll leave you be_  
 _Right in front of me_  
 _For a couple of weeks_  
 _So I can keep you safe_

 

 

I take a look to what I've written, and simply skim through the lyrics. I take a look at my watch, and see that only five minutes have passed. I smile a little, but then I realise that I was supposed to write with Liam, Zayn and Harry. I take a deep breath, and I just hope they won't be too angry with me for writing without them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics: "Small bump" by Ed Sheeran. Also, this will be the last of Louis for some time.. (sorry!)


	12. Chapter 12

****Liam****

 

I am totally shocked! Who the hell does Louis Tomlinson think he is? Trying to stick his tongue down my throat. I don't really think anything about it when he smashes his lips onto Harry, nor the sweet kiss he shares with Zayn, nor their sweet murmurs of "forever". But then Louis approahes Niall. I am this close to punch Louis' stupid face, and I see Harry's face must be a reflection of my own. He too is seething, but I don't think it's because of Louis kissing Niall. It's because of Louis and Zayn's kiss, or maybe their "forever" statement. My hearts shatters as I see Niall accepting Louis' tongue, and then seconds later, he moans. 

"Did you like it, Niall me love?" Louis says to Niall. The nerve of him! He's flirting with Niall, and he's about to be a father! I'm glad he's leaving now, because if I have to see him flirting with Niall one more freaking minute, and I'd punch his stupid face in! Oh, happy freaking jealousy rears its ugly face at me, and stabs me with its knife where it hurts me the most. My stomach and heart is where it stabs the most. "Thanks for the goodbye kisses, guys! It was definitely a blast for me too!" Louis laughs obnoxiously, and then he goes on to packing his stuff. 

Yeah, of course you frigging loved kissing Niall, you stupid idiot!  _You just wished it was you! Of course Niall would rather kiss Louis than you. Who do you think you are?_ The ugly thoughts starts coming up, and I bite my lips to stop the tears from flooding over.

Louis comes and gives me a hug, but I can't do anything. I can't punch his stupid face, nor push him away, or even put my arms around him either. The hug is so awkward. "I'll really miss you, Liam." He goes on to hug Harry (I can tell Harry is having the same problem as me!), and Zayn. Then Louis hugs Niall, and Niall falls into his arms, crying. I want to rip Niall out of Louis' stupid embrace, and hug him close to me instead. As Louis turns and waves goodbye, I see that Niall is really struggling, and I, without thinking, am opening my arms, and he litterally flies into them. I can feel his tears wetting my shirt, but I don't really care about that. I care about him.

"Are you okay?" I whisper into his ear, patting his back gently.

"Yeah. I-I think I'm ready to write now." He flinches a little, and I lose my grip on him.

"What?" I stutter out, with a million of thoughts running through my mind.  _You want to write now? You're distraught. You should be happy, with me. Not with Louis. I don't think I can handle you write lovesongs to Louis..._

"I want to write a song for Louis,"  _I knew it!_ "..Eleanor and the baby they're expecting." Oh, I didn't know that. Okay,the jealousy vanishes just like that. Poof! Gone! It's not just for Louis.

"Can we help?" Zayn whispers, he is still holding onto Harry like he was his lifeline. 

"Okay, if you want to. I'll just go and get my guitar," Niall says softly, and then he walks out of the door. 

No one is saying anything. Zayn and Harry are still holding onto each other. Well, Zayn is holding onto Harry, and Harry is just holding him close to him, as if his life might end if he lets Zayn go. I know the feeling so well. I have the same feeling whenever I'm holding Niall. I feel like I can breathe, and just be myself. I don't like the jealousy though. 

"You okay, Liam?" Harry whispers, as not to startle Zayn. I look over to them, and I can see why. Zayn had cried himself to sleep. And he wants to write with Niall? Yeah, right!

"Y-yeah. Are you okay, Harry?" I whisper back.

Harry gently puts Zayn back to the bed, and covers him up in blankets. He gently puts a sweet kiss on Zayn's forehead, and I felt like I was intruding on an intimate moment. 

"I-I think I will be," Harry whispers as he sat beside me. 

"Me too," I whisper.

"I'm happy that Louis left. Does that make me the worst person alive?"

"No. It doesn't. Because I'm glad he left too." 

"Zayn and Niall might disagree with us." 

"I know. But I'm glad you understand me... Because if you didn't feel the same way as me, I would've felt really bad."

"Me too," Harry agrees. "I'm glad you understand me, Liam."

"I'm glad you understand me too, Harry."

"What made you jealous?"

"When he kissed Niall... And Niall let him." My voice breaks a little.

"I was jealous before that... They.. When Louis told us before, Zayn seemed so distant, and he kept on asking Louis if he was sure if he wanted to leave to be with  _her_. It was almost as if he wanted Louis to stay here. With him. And then their 'forever' and.. He was really rough kissing the two of us, but with Zayn and Niall, it was so gentle."

"Yeah," I choke out. "But what hurt the most, was that you and me, we were almost fighting him for kissing us. But Ni-Niall and Zayn just let him..."

"Zayn was my first, real proper kiss," Harry says, just out of the blue. 

"I've never been kissed before, and Louis stole that away from me!" I sobbed. "I-I re-really wa-wanted Niall to be m-my f-first ki-kiss!"

"He's such a bastard," Harry murmurs into my ear, and we were hugging each other. Neither one of us noticed the door opened. Thankfully, we were just hugging each other whilst we were crying, and not saying anything.

"You alright guys?" It was Niall. Niall! My Niall. I slip out of Harry's embrace, and I open my arms for him. 

"I know we'll all miss him to pieces, but this is good for him..." Niall mumbles, as he hugs me tight. I feel a weight on my back as well, and I realise that Niall wanted to comfort Harry too. My heart was almost aching by his thoughtfulness.

"Yeah," Harry mumbles. I just snuggle into Niall's neck, and maybe I sniff at his neck a little too. His scent makes me happy. 

"Sjnidsnfvuidruhnvfdjk," the noise came from the bed Zayn was on, and I couldn't help the chuckle against Niall's neck. I felt Niall shudder a little, but he let me be - for now. 

"He's about to wake up," Harry murmurs softly. Gone were the boy who kept on shouting when he thought he was whispering, and I wondered what happened to that guy.

The loud blaring of bells interrupted us, and Zayn shot out of bed like a rocketship or something. 

"We should probably get going," I whisper to Niall.

"Yeah..." he whispers, and my heart is bumping even faster than possible when Niall held out his hand, almost shyly, and I took his hand. I was probably blushing like mad, but then again, so was he. He didn't even let go of my hand after I stood up. Harry was smiling at us, and I knew my smile was almost as bright as a megawatt lightbulb. 

"Wha' gon' on?" Zayn mumbles, and Harry just ... stares. Lovingly, might I add, not in some weird stalkerish way. 

"I think perhaps it's time for another audition..." Harry mumbles, and shit just hit the fan - again!

 

****Niall****

 

Another audtion? Now? But... We're all a freaking mess because of Louis leaving! How do they suppose we can perform now? I tighten my grip on Liam's hand, and he squeezes my hand back - as to reassure me or something. It helps a little bit. 

"We can write later on, yeah?" Zayn murmurs, and I know I must stop the blood circulation on Liam's hand by now. I just pray that they won't be too mad at me.

"I-I-I... yeah. Later," I mumble.

"What's wrong?" Liam asks, after Zayn and Harry goes to the bathroom.

"Nothing," I whisper. I can't take it if Zayn and Harry goes mental on me... But for some reason, it'll be even worse if Liam will be mad at me. 

"You sure, Niall?" Liam squeezes my hand, and smiles gently at me. His honey-brown eyes are inviting me in, for me to drown in. 

"Yep," I pop the 'p', and I gently squeeze his hand back at him, gently swinging our hands back and forth. I know I have to let go of Liam's hand as soon as we leave Zayn and Harry's room, but I could definitely use his warmth even more now. I always felt so cold whenever I let go of Liam, and his warmth was always engulfing me, surrounding me, and I would always shudder of coldness whenever his warmth left my side. I had to invite the coldness though.

"Okay," Liam giggles a little. 

"Ready?" Harry comes out, with a sad Zayn. 

"Ready," Liam smiles.

"Yeah. Ready," I whisper. I try and give Zayn a smile, but it's probably just a grimace. 

He grimaces back at me. "Ready," Zayn says, never letting go of Harry's hand. I, on the other hand, let go of Liam's hand - and I regret the second I do. 

 

"We've lost a member now, so that means one of you will stay for at least another day. We were supposed to have auditions today, but I think at least four of you will be too distraught to perform tonight. So, you're all getting today off. Tomorrow, as we haven't gotten rid of anyone yet, there'll be a huge number of you disappearing. Okay?" Mr. Cowell said, and I felt myself shudder at the thought.

"That's not all. Those you have anything written, can come up now. If you're any of those four people and have anything written, you don't necessary have to perform, if you're feeling too emotional."

Oh no, does this mean I have to get up there now? Harry, Zayn and Liam don't know! But then again, neither does Mr. Cowell and Mr. Walsh. Is that bad, though? Will I be thrown out if I don't tell them I've written something? But I write all the time, especially when I feel sad. 

I decide to go up there, and just deal with it if Zayn, Harry and especially Liam will be mad at me. 

"Mr. Horan?" Mr. Cowell sounds surprised.

"Yes, Mr. Cowell?" 

"You have something written?"

"Y-yes." 

"Can I see it, then?" 

I give him my notebook, and hand him the latest song I wrote. "Small bump."

"When did you write this?" 

"30 minutes ago," I murmur.

"Do you have the melody as well?" 

I nod. 

"Would you preform it for us?"

I take a look at Liam, and he nods his head for me to say 'yes'. 

"Okay," I whisper. I take my guitar, and I gently start to strum the chords. I took a deep breath, and started singing.

 

_You're just a small bump unborn_  
 _In four months you're brought to life_  
 _You might be left with my hair_  
 _But you'll have your mother's eyes_  
 _I'll hold your body in my hands_  
 _Be as gentle as I can_  
 _But for now your scan of my unmade plans_  
 _A small bump in four months you'll be brought to life_

_And I'll whisper quietly_  
 _I'll give you nothing but truth_  
 _If you're not inside of me_  
 _I'll put my future in you_

_You are my one and only_  
 _You can wrap your fingers around my thumb_  
 _And hold me tight_

_You're just a small bump unknown_  
 _You'll grow into your skin_  
 _With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin_  
 _Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice_  
 _And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide_  
 _A small bump_  
 _In four months you'll open your eyes_

_And I'll hold you tightly_  
 _And tell you noyhing but truth_  
 _If you're not inside me_  
 _I'll put my future in you_

_You can lie with me_  
 _With your tiny feet_  
 _When you're half asleep_  
 _I'll leave you be_  
 _Right in front of me_  
 _For a couple of weeks_  
 _So I can keep you safe_

 

 

"Wow, Niall. That.. That was amazing!" Mr. Walsh said, as he stood up and clapped for me. 

"Is this...?" Mr Cowell asked, and I just nodded. I knew what he wanted to say. "Well, I'm impressed, Mr. Horan."

"Thank you," I whisper. I take my guitar down with me. I sit down next to Liam, wanting him to embrace me even more than anything. Because I've never felt so cold and alone in my life before. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

"Wh-when? Ho-how? Wh-what?" Zayn stuttered out when all four of us stumbled into the room I shared with Liam. "I thought we were going to write together..." 

"Yeah, well... the words just- I had to put them to paper before.. my thoughts became too crazy.."

"Was it the song for Louis, Eleanor and the baby?" Zayn whispered.

"Yeah.."

"He'd love the song, Niall. Both the lyrics and the melody," Zayn said, and then he gave me a big hug. I felt relieved that he wasn't mad at me.

"Thank you," I hugged him back. Happy tears were streaming down my face.

"I've known Louis for quite some time, but I know he really loved you, Niall. Like, how we all love you."

I blushed at Zayn's words. "I-I loved h-him t-too, li-like I lo-love all o-of y-you."

"C'mere," Zayn opened one of his arms, to motion Liam and Harry to get into the hug as well. It looked like the two of them didn't hesitate, which made me giggle.

"This is nice," Harry murmurs softly, as he stood between Zayn and Liam.

"Yeah, it is," I whisper back at Harry, and he gave me the biggest grin possible, his dimples showing as well.

"I think we should probably head back to our room though, Harry. It's getting quite late." Zayn murmured, and Liam just wriggled his eyebrows.

"It's not that late yet." He teased Zayn, but Harry seemed eager enough too.

"We should leave, yeah. I'm quite tired as well." Harry said, and gave the biggest, fakest yawn ever known to mankind.

"You just want to snog Zayn," I whisper into his ear.

"I want to snog my _boyfriend_ , yes." Harry whispered back to me, and my eyes were indeed wide now.

"Are you serious?!" I say, maybe a little too loudly, and Liam and Zayn raise their eyebrows to me and Harry.  

"I am quite serious, yes." Harry giggled, as he took a hold of Zayn's hand, and dragged him out of our room. I stood staring after them long after they've left.

 

"You alright there, Niall?" Liam asked.

"Huh? Oh.. Heh.. Yeah, just.. Harry said something."

"What did he say?" 

"Nothing of importance," I mumble, but Liam wouldn't let it go that easily.

"Tell me... or I'll tickle you!" He even made his fingers wriggle, like I was some sort of child he was trying to 'threaten'. 

"Never!" I yell, and ran to my bed, hiding under my duvet, giggling slightly as I felt Liam sitting on my bed. 

"Niall?" His voice was soft, and I decided to peek out of my duvet.

"Yes?" 

"Your hair is messy," Liam giggled, his cheeks flushed.

"So?"

"You should go and see," he laughs. 

"Don't tickle me!" I warn him, shaking my index finger at him.

"I won't. Pinky-swear!" 

"Gimme your pinky then!" I hold my pinky out to him, and with a giggle from both of us, he hooks his pinky with mine. "Now you can never tickle me!" I giggle even more, as I shake my body out of my duvet. 

Liam doesn't say anything, he just looks at me. "Liam?" No response. I just shrug, as I stand up, and go to the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. I start laughing really loud, because my hair is an absolute mess, it looks like a bird nest to be totally honest.

Liam is still sitting on my bed, he still hasn't moved into a better position. "Liam?" I even touch his shoulder, but he still wouldn't budge. "Liam? Mate, if you're going to sit there, I might as well just sleep in your bed tonight. Liam?" He still wouldn't budge, or even look at me, or anything really. I go to sit at the chair at the desk, with my guitar. It's been a rollercoaster of a day, so I just strum mindlessly on my guitar. I seriously think about going to sleep in Liam's bed. I decide one last time to make Liam snap out of it, wherever he is. 

 

"Liam?"

"Sorry, what? Aww, you fixed your hair..." Liam pouted, sticking out his bottom lip.

"It's almost 11."

"You're joking," Liam whispers.

"Nah. I'm tired, and wanna go to sleep."

"Yeah, 'course. Sorry." Liam mumbles, as he blushes quite obviously, as he stumbled to his own bed.  

"Nothin' t' worry 'bout," I yawn, as I throw myself in between the duvet, sheets and blankets. I nuzzle into the pillows, and I give a content sigh of comfort. "Nigh' Liam."

"Good night, Niall. Sleep well."

"Wai' Li, wan' snuggle wi' you..." I'm so tired I can't even form a full sentence, nor do I really know what I'm saying here.

"Pardon?"

"Cuddle me," I squirm my arms out of the cacoon of blankets, duvet and sheets, and make grabby arms at him.

"Okay," Liam whispers softly, as he comes into bed with me. I am instantly hit with his unique smell, and it makes me really sleepy, and happy. 

"I wan' be lil spoon," I whisper out, and take Liam's hand and try and drag him closer to me, so my back is nestled into his chest. Thankfully, he complies without any arguments, which I'm really thankful for.  

 

 

****Zayn****

 

 

I got to tell Harry now. I just have to, before it's too late. "Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Uhm, re-remember when I ki-kissed you for the first time?"

"Uh-huh?" He looks at me with wide eyes, and I can understand why. He doesn't understand.

"And I blurted out I was in love with Liam?"

"Yes?" He taps his fingers on his thigh.

"I'm not, I wasn't lying. I-I mean, I su-suppose he's quite good looking, bu-but.. not as ha-handsome as you." My face heated up as I blurted that out, but I couldn't get lost in his smile, his eyes, nor his constant need for cuddles, or kisses. 

"O-kay...?" He still looks like he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say here.

"I-I mean, I do lo-love you.. as a friend."

"A friend?" 

"Ye-yes. I-I can't be anything else. I-I-I'm not, uh, gay. I'm not gay, Harry." There, I said it. My brain applauds me, but the rest of my body and, especially my heart, breaks in a million pieces. 

"Uh, so if you're not gay, why did you make out so gently with Louis, and what was it with the 'forevers' you shared with each other?" 

_Fuck._ "Louis?" 

"Yes. Louis. Our former room mate."

"Uh..."

"Yeah, see, I don't fall for the 'I'm not gay' bit. You use your entire heart whenever you've kissed me, and if you weren't gay, you'd be repulsed by even touching me..."

"You're the one who touched and kissed me!" 

"I never forced myself on you, Zayn! You kissed me first! You were the first one to say 'I love you'... And what does the 'forever' you and Louis shared mean, then?"

"It was one of friendship!" I fall deeper into the lies, and I know it. Weirdly enough, so does Harry.

"You know what, Zayn? I don't believe you. Don't worry though. I'll sleep in Louis' bed tonight." Harry sounds... like he doesn't have any emotions at all. You'd think he'd lose it, but he doesn't. It's like he suspected this would happen to him. That I'd break his heart somehow. I never meant to. I just wanted to be honest with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than the other ones, but I guess I wanted to leave it with a little cliffhanger.. Don't worry.. Zayn will explain himself soon enough.. About the 'forever' he and Louis shared, and why he isn't gay..


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up, feeling warm and content. The usual smell I've been waking up to, also calmed me down, which was heavenly to my nose. I nuzzled my body closer to the warmth, and I swear I could feel hot breath on my neck. 

"Mornin'. Sleep well?" 

"I did. Did you?" 

"Yeah..." Liam's warm breath tickled me slightly, and I squirmed against him, nestling in his warmth.

"We should probably get up soon," I sighed, because why would I want to move? I was practically in heaven right now. 

"I don't want to get up..." Liam whined, and I chuckled at his tone. 

"Me neither, but hey.. We should get up and get something to eat. Maybe see if we can get Harry and Zayn up?" I suggest.

"Okay," Liam streched a little before he moved away from me. "You want to use the shower first, or should I?" 

"Mm, you go first." I cozied myself up into my duvet and pillow, before Liam stood up. He pouted slightly when I opened my eyes.

"It's not fair that you get to spend more time in bed, though." He mumbled, before he took off into the bathroom. I chuckled slightly, but not when I realised that nuzzling and cozying up to Liam had led to a major problem in the downstairs compartment. 

I tried to will my erection down, I really did. But it didn't really help much. To make matter worse, someone was already hammering on our door, and I could hear loud voices too. 

"Uuhh.. Ju-just a second. I-I'm not decent!" I yelled, before throwing on a too big bathrobe.

"There's nothing to explain!" Harry yelled, before he ran into me. With an 'oof', and horror, we both landed on the floor. 

"Harry!" Zayn exclaimed, as he too, came running into the room. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine," Harry hissed, before he litterally shouted out, "get away from me!"

"What happened?" I groaned slightly as I felt Harry was being moved away from me. 

"Nothing happened. I just want Zayn to leave me alone." Harry hissed.

"Why? You were quite cozy last night?" I scrunched my eyes slightly together when I felt the old back hurt again. 

"I-I'm sorry. I wish I could explain, but..." Zayn murmured softly to Harry, but Harry just blanked him, like he wasn't there. 

"Zayn, apparently, isn't gay. Although he  _kissed me_ , asked  _me_ to be  _his boyfriend_ , and goes around thowing  _'forever'_  with other guys. But hey, if he's not gay, he's not gay. Not like I'm much of a person with feelings or anything, am I right? Or for the fact that I'm too ugly to even be seen with the Zayn Malik that graced the planet Earth. I just want him to leave me alone right now, and I'm sorry for barging in here, but please... tell one of us to get out, so that the other one can stay? I just, really don't want to spend another second with him right now!" Harry all but whispered and yelled his speech. 

"Shower's all yours Niall! Oh, I thought I heard you guys... Morning!" Liam chirped, his eyes sparkling, and his smile wide. 

"Zayn, could you please leave?" I murmur softly, looking between Harry and Zayn. 

"Wh-what happened?" Liam's face fell when I asked Zayn to leave, just because you'd think I'd stabbed the guy or something. 

"I-I-I'm so-sorry Ha-Harry," Zayn sobbed, and dragged himself out the door. 

Just a nano-second after Zayn had shut the door after himself, Harry collapsed on the floor, sobbing his heart out. 

"Come," I whisper to Liam, and I drag him into the bathroom with me. 

 

 **Harry's POV**  (flashback)

 

As soon as we get inside our room, Zayn cleared his throat. "Harry?"  

"Yeah?"

"Uhm, kn-know when I ki-kissed you for the first time?"

"Uh-huh?" I say, taking his beauty in. I still can't believe he wanted to be with me.

"And I blurted out I was in love with Liam?"

"Yes?" I tap my fingers against my thigh, and I know my eyes are wide - because what does Liam have to do with anything? Oh my God. He's breaking up with me so that he can be with Liam. Of course, stupid stupid Harry!

"I'm not, I wasn't lying. I-I mean, I su-suppose he's quite good looking, bu-but.. not as ha-handsome as you." Zayn hurried out, and a cute blush coated his cheeks. I smiled at him.

"Okay...?" I still don't understand what he wants to tell me here, but hey? Guess what? I don't really care, because in two seconds, I am going to give him a sweet kiss on his lips.

"I-I mean, I do lo-love you.. as a friend."

"A friend?" I seriously can't have heard him correctly. Right? He's not breaking up with me the same day he blurts out to be my boyfriend. Right?  

"Ye-yes. I-I can't be anything else. I-I-I'm not, uh, gay. I'm not gay, Harry." 

"Uh, so if you're not gay, why did you make out so gently with Louis, and what was it with the 'forevers' you shared with each other?" He's got to be pranking me. Like, seriously.

"Louis?" He seemed lost for words now, and my whole being seem to understand that perhaps he isn't pranking me right now anyway.

"Yes. Louis. Our former room mate." I press on. I want some answers, damn it!

"Erm..." He licks his lips, and I want to throw myself at him and beg him to never let me go. But I can't.

"Yeah, see, I don't fall for the 'I'm not gay' bit. You use your entire heart whenever you've kissed me, and if you weren't gay, you'd be repulsed by even touching me..." I said. My voice was unusually steady for the waves of devestating emotions that is wreaking havoc through my body.

"You're the one who touched and kissed me!" Zayn retaliates, but I'm having none of it.

"I never forced myself on you, Zayn! You kissed me first! You were the first one to say 'I love you'... And what does the 'forever' you and Louis shared, then?"

"It was one of friendship!" Zayn yells, but he lies. And we both know it is a huge, big lie.

"You know what, Zayn? I don't believe you. Don't worry though. I'll sleep in Louis' bed tonight." I say, before I let loose the hell of tears and anger that I could be so stupid. I wanted to cry, and I couldn't do that, even if I didn't share the bed with Zayn - I couldn't share the bunk bed with him either. So, the bed Louis slept in, was the best - for now. 

 

"Harry?" I woke up to the voice of Zayn whispering at me, repeating my name, over and over again. 

At first, I didn't remember anything from last night - but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The smile I wanted to give him at the sound of his voice, froze as I took in how close he was. "What?" My voice is raspy - from the silent crying I did last night, and the lack of sleep, obviously. 

"It's time to get up," Zayn still whispers. 

I nodded, and got up. Walked into the bathroom, and started the shower. I think I can hear Zayn sigh/sob as I step out of the shower. He has no right to be hurt by his own actions, for crying out loud. 

"I-I'm sorry, Harry. I'm so sorry..." Zayn whispered when I came out of the shower. 

"I'm going to Niall and Liam," I say, and was about to storm out of the room I shared with Zayn. It hurt too much to even be in the same space as him right now.

"It's not even 7 AM yet," Zayn whispered. "I just, I think.. we need to talk."

"Fine. Talk. Tell me why you're not gay, what the hell the 'forever' with Louis meant, and why the hell you even asked me to be your boyfriend, or why you even kissed me in the first place?" 

"It's not that easy, Harry..." He says, but I don't buy it. 

"What's not easy, _Zayn_ ," I am trying so hard, but I choke at saying his name, "is being played by you."

"I didn't..." He whisper softly, pleading with me with his beautiful eyes that almost looks heartbroken. I, however, know better.

"Yes. You did. You played me as the big fool I am. So, I don't care if it's 7 AM or 11 PM... Just, leave me alone, Zayn."

"But... We're room mates," Zayn tries, but I just shake my head.

"No. I'm staying with Niall or Liam. One of them can move in with you. Just... leave me alone." I whisper, as Zayn approaches.

"Harry..."

"NO!" I yell, and now I really am storming out of the bedroom we're sharing. I want to cry so badly, but of course Zayn is right behind me, begging for me to talk to him. I can't. Not right now. Not ever. I just want the hurt to go away.

 

****Liam's POV****

 

I am so confused right now. Harry and Zayn were in our room before 8 AM, but at least Niall was already up now. Harry looks ... like he's been through hell and back, and Zayn doesn't look any better. 

"Zayn, can you please leave?" Niall asked, in such a sweet voice, I couldn't really understand why he would want to hurt Zayn like that. I wanted to point it out, but my words just somehow wouldn't come out of my mouth. 

Zayn sobbed something, before he dragged himself out the door, and as soon as he closed the door, Harry collapsed on our floor, sobbing his heart out. I was about to go over to him, to try and comfort him or something, but Niall took a hold of my hand, and whispered the words I had dreamt about, in the naughty sense. "Come."

I swallowed, and followed Niall into the bathroom. He sighed. "Harry asked me to choose between who of him and Zayn could stay. One of us should probably go check on Zayn, though, whilst the other one stay here with Harry. I don't think those two should be left alone. From what I've gathered, Zayn told Harry he wasn't gay? They had a fight about it, I think. So, do you want to check on Zayn, or stay here with Harry?" His bright blue eyes captivated me to the center of my soul, and I felt a wave of wanting to just press our body together in a bone crushing hug, never letting him go.

"I'll... uh, check up on Zayn?" I ask, not sure what Niall wanted to do. I just want to make him happy, okay? I'd do the thing he'd least want to do.

"Okay. So, I'll stay here with Harry, whilst you go check on Zayn. I'll, uh, shower now then." He says, a blush creeping up from his chest to his ears. Why is he so adorable? Why?

"You're... really cute," I state, and his eyes widen, and he is turning even more red than before. I just want to capture his blush, and ... kiss it? Take a photo of him whilst he's blushing? Breathe in his 'Niall-ness' and feel the heat from his cheeks? Uh-oh, major problem now! 

"Uhm.. Thanks? I guess?" He says, looking really unsure. 

"N-no problem," I say, as I realise why he probably felt embarrassed in the first place. 1) He seemed just as excited as me. 2) He was standing there - in just some boxer-briefs. He wasn't wearing a t-shirt. I wanted to really have that bone hugging crush now. Preferably without wearing a stupid t-shirt too. I wanted skin-on-skin contact, alright? 

"So, uh.. I'll just have a quick shower then?" He says, almost as he's asking me to join him? I want to jump up and down and squeal like a little girl. I am about to take my t-shirt off when he blurts out with, "Liam? I-I think you should probably, uh, leave?" 

Oh. Of course. Stupid me. Of course Niall doesn't have any desire to see me naked. What the hell am I thinking anyway? 

  


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this ages ago, I just forgot to post it... Oops? Haha..

****Liam's POV****

 

"I'll go and check on Zayn then..." I murmur, but before I leave, I sneak a peak at his delicious body before I quietly leave the bathroom. Even though he had his back to me, he had now taken off his boxer briefs, and I could see his arse. It went straight to my downstairs compartment, of course. His arse was... without exaggerating, the most wonderful and delicious kind of arse I've ever seen in my life. Not that I've seen that many arses' before in my life, (in the flesh - I've seen my fair share of gay magazines), and no arse could compare to the arse of Mr. Niall James Horan. Just putting it out there.

I see that Harry hasn't moved from the floor, but his distressed crying/sobbing/wailing kind of killed my erection. Thank God.

"Harry?" I whisper, and pat his back.

"He-He-He lo-loves Lo-Louis, b-but no-not m-m-me. Th-that's what their  _damn 'forever'_ meant." Harry choked on his words, but he really enunciated the words 'damn forever'.

"Did he say that?" I whisper, still stroking Harry's back, trying my best to give him comfort. At the back of my head, I know I should be checking on Zayn, and leave Harry with Niall, but I can't. Not when Harry is this distressed.

"He didn't have to," Harry cried, as he turned around. He looked even more like he'd been dragged through hell and back now. Red, swollen eyes, puffy cheeks, dark circles under his eyes, snot running down from his nose. That he looked a mess, was an understatement. 

"Then what happened?" I murmur, as I hold my hands out to give Harry a hug. 

"He said he's not gay. But I think it's just me. He was playing me for a fool, and the fool I am, fell for it. I fell for him the second I laid eyes on him, because he's damn well perfect. Like he was carved from the angels in heaven or something. He's a freaking supermodel, and I'm just plain old me. Just, plain, stupid, idiotic Harry. Just Harry..." Harry cries, as he throws himself into my arms.

"Are you sure it's not Louis who made advances on Zayn?"

"You saw them kissing, right?" Harry full on wailed now, his despair really showing. I feel so sorry him.

"I did... but remember, he kissed Niall just as sweetly, right?"

"Did Niall ask you to be his boyfriend? Did you and Niall kiss? Did Niall tell you that he loves you...?" He choked.

"Well, no.. but I'd do anything for him. I'd give him the stars and the moon and the sun if I could."

"Would you give him Louis?" Harry murmured into my shoulder.

"If Louis is the one he wanted, and he could make him happy... then, I'd like to think I would."

"Even when it's costing you your own happiness?" Harry sobbed.

"I-I love him. I'm in love with him. His happiness is important to me."

"I'll just go and check on Zayn, then." Niall hissed, making angry faces at Harry and me, and then slammed the door shut. What the hell just happened? 

 

****Zayn's POV****

 

 I fell to the floor, sobbing and shaking as I tried my best to shut the door. Harry hated me now, and I don't know why I didn't think  _that_ through when I told him I wasn't gay. I'm not gay though, it's true - that's the horrible thing about this. But I care about Harry, and seeing him so hurt and heartbroken. His kisses were just as amazing as any girls' kiss. And he made me feel things I've never felt before. He made me blurt out the stupidest things, my heart quickened by his mere presence - and his stupid sense of humour always made me laugh. I realised that I was also heartbroken by the mere idea of that I was losing Harry - and I haven't known him all that long. The thought made me cry even harder. 

"Hey." The slightly hoarse voice shook me out of my darkened thoughts, and as it was quite hoarse it made me think it was Harry. I turned around and saw it was Niall, and I think he noticed that the sparkle in my eyes when I thought it was Harry, disappeared when I realised it was him. 

"Hi," I croaked out.

"Sorry 'bout earlier. Jus', Harry was upset. Why did you tell him you're not gay, Zayn?"

"I'm not gay... I can't be." I struggled getting my words out. 

"Uh, your kiss with Louis ..." 

"It was just a kiss. Just a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a kiss..."

"Were the kisses you shared with Harry 'just a kiss'? 'Cause I'm tellin' ya, that Harry was fallin' head over heels when it came to you.."

"I know!" I groaned, looking up at Niall. 

His whole body language screamed that he needed comfort, and just for a second, I forgot my own mess.

"You okay?"

"Not as bad as you, mate. Not as bad as you.. Although.. Could you be bi, Zayn? I mean, if you.. 'cause it kinda looked like ya had a thing for Louis there, and .. Well, it kinda looked like ya were headin' in the same direction as Harry - love-wise."

"Fine, I'll tell you.. But.. No one knows - not even Louis. Not the whole thing anyway - and.. well, I'd prefer it that way. So, cross your heart?" He crossed his heart. "Okay, but first.. for getting me there, tell me why you're so upset.."

"Tha's not fair!" Niall slammed his hand down at the floor, which made a smack sound. 

"Please...?"

"Ugh! But it could hurt you too, so.. You'll tell me anyway?"

"S-sure." I nodded, and put my head on his shoulder. 

"Alrigh' then. So, after ya left, I told Liam about why you and Harry had a fight-ish. I mean, I couldn't get the gist of it all together, but I told him. Anyway, he was supposed to come and check on you, because I needed a shower.. And after my super quick shower, I came in, and saw that.. Liam and Harry were snuggled together. Holding each other. And I snapped, because Liam told Harry about being in love, and that he'd give him Louis, or give up on Louis, if it made the person he loved would be happy, and.. yeah. I think Liam's in love with either you or Louis, and it just.. It just sucks, alright!" 

I couldn't help but laugh out loud, but I tried to contain myself to just giggles. How cute is Niall, anyway?  

"It's not funny!" Niall glared at me, and I just shrugged.

"Ever realised in that sweet noggin' of yours that Liam was talking about you? I mean, it's fairly obvious that he's in love, yes. I believe that.. but that he's in love with me or Louis? I doubt it. He seeks you out whenever, and he was clearly smitten with you the day you came singing into his life."

"Anyway.. I don't think so, but whatever. I told you. Now, you tell me." He looked determined, and I realised I had to do what I promised him just mere minutes before. 

"Okay, but like I said... It's not easy for me, okay?"

"Just tell me, Zayn."

"Uh, so.. As you might now, I'm Muslim. And it's a sin to be gay. As the only boy in my family, I've got to keep the Malik name going. So, even though I find myself more... in tune of guys, I ... I have to get married to a girl. Start a family. Honour Allah, and my family. Be a man."

Niall didn't say anything, just seemed like he progressed what I was saying. 

"Anyway, my mum always told me to follow my heart and dreams - and seeing as I love singing, as well as painting and drawing, I decided to try my luck at singing. I know I won't win or anything, but.. And I met Louis. He was charmed by Parker, and kept telling me to check out Parker's mate, George. The four of us had a little fling going on, I suppose. Parker and Louis, and George and myself. I panicked after George and myself had a rather... heated make out session. I told him I wasn't gay, and ran out. So, George tried to... 'make me' gay. Parker and Louis, they ended their thing, even though it was pretty clear that Louis still pined after Parker. So, they totally turned on us, started calling us names and so on. Uh, so Louis was really upset. Like, really upset. He told me he was happy with his girlfriend Eleanor, but that he couldn't help feeling attracted to guys. More so then he ever felt with her. So, Louis and I made a pact with each other - and we sealed out pact with a kiss. Just like the kiss you saw us share. My 'forever' with Louis, means that I'll always try my best to look out for him, and he with me. Anyway, Parker and Max, saw us sharing a kiss, and the name calling started to turn into physical shoving and stuff."

"As in, George Max and Tom Parker? As in, Siva's friends?"

"They're the ones."

"But... You and Louis always said something horrible back to them. If-if you truly cared about each other, why would you say such horrible things to one another?" 

"I told George I wasn't gay.. after a heated make out session? Parker obviously didn't like that I 'made a fool' out of his friend, and Louis, although, he really did like Parker, was made a fool out of as well. Because Louis had Eleanor, and he still to this day proclaim to love her. I'm sure he does, in some weird way, but... He told me he got butterflies from seeing guys... And with girls.. Well, he said it was only Eleanor for him."

"So... Louis wasn't happy that Eleanor was pregnant?" 

"Niall? Didn't you see his face? He was over-the-moon-happy that he was going to start his family with Eleanor. But I think he was just as excited that he got to give all of us a kiss."

"So.. you've made out with other guys before? But why would you lead Harry on?"

"I didn't.. I didn't lead him on."

"You did. Because you kissed him, and told him you love him. And you try to convince him you're not gay? Who are you trying to convince here, Zayn? Me, Harry, yourself, your peers, your family or ... your religion?" 

I gaped at Niall. Who was I trying to convince indeed? 


	16. Chapter 16

Zayn didn't say anything else, and I didn't try and pressure him into talking. He was thinking about what I asked about who he was trying to convince, and that was all I wanted really. Well, that, and figure out if Zayn's observations about Liam was true or not. That I was indeed the one Liam had been talking about in front of Harry. 

"What are you thinking about?" Zayn asked, his voice was barely audible.

"About what you told me..." I mumble, putting my hands over my face, and scrub my palms against my cheeks. 

"It's obvious to everyone that Liam fancies you, and that you fancy Liam.. Even Tommo noticed it. He's like, the least observant one, you know?" 

"Same could be said 'bout you and Harry, mate." 

"I.. I don't deny having feelings for Harry, but I'm straight. I can't be gay. I just.. I can't be."

"Are you bi, though?"

"I'm straight. Definitely straight."

"A straight guy wouldn't make out with another guy, though.. Nor would a straight guy want to be in a relationship with another guy. A bi-guy, however, would most certainly want to make out with a hot looking guy, and be in a relationship with another hot guy. Just putting it out there."

"Nah.. I'm straight. I have no choice, I've got to be straight. A bi-sexual muslim? A gay muslim? Nah, I can't bring shame on my family. I've done enough of that, Niall."

"Shame on your family? Zayn, only you can know what can make you the happiest. Shame on your family - just because you can't love who you want to love? Your family can't decide that for you."

"Don't you get it Niall?! Dad has already chosen for me! A nice, beautiful girl to help make the Malik genes to go on.. Harry can't do that.. No matter how much I want him to do that for me..." Zayn broke down, sobbing harder than before. "... Dad ... Allah ..."

"Shh, come here, Zee. Shh..." As I look into Zayn's eyes, I can feel his agony and hurt, and how much he's struggling with his sexuality. After a few minutes of Zayn quietly sniffing, he practically started to sob.

"I-I w-w-wanna be happy wi-with Ha-Ha-Ha-Harry! I lo-love hi-im!"

"I know,mate. I know.." I try to soothe Zayn, but it seems almost impossible. He just keeps sobbing "Harry" and "I love Harry".

There's a knock on the door, but I feel like I can't leave Zayn sobbing on his own, not even for a little bit. Besides, my head was spinning with what Zayn told me. Liam was in love - with me? But how? Sure, he was a funny guy, a little weird sometimes, but hey? Who am I to judge? I'm weird myself. He had the prettiest brown eyes that I've ever seen, and his eyelashes... His big, pouty lips that I was certain was meant to be kissed. Soft and hard. For a long time until his lips were all swollen, or just quick little peck. Would it feel like love? Oh, and the way his eyes crinkles when he laughs for a long time. How cute was that? Wait? Does this mean that I'm as hot for Liam as everyone thinks he is for me? Does that mean he has had the thought of fighting the urge to kiss me too? 

"... And, I just, I love Harry. Does that make me gay? Or could I be bi? Niall?" 

"Huh? Uh.. Yeah, you love Harry. It's obvious. And you don't have to label anything just yet, Zee." 

"But, do you think my plan will work?" 

"Uh..."

"You didn't pay attention to me, did you?" Zayn pouted a little. 

"I have my own problems too, you know!" I snap, but then I feel guilty. Both Harry and Zayn are heartbroken, because of Zayn's insecurities when it comes to his sexuality. At least, Liam doesn't have a broken heart, because when I think about it, Liam most certainly isn't in love with me. Because how can he be? He is like... perfection, and I'm just plain old me. Harry was exactly what Zayn needed, and Zayn was what Harry needed. And they both want each other too. "I'm sorry, Zayn. I didn't mean to snap at you, I just..."

"It's okay..." Zayn whispers, going to lay down on his bed. "I don't really think much of my plan either, just, it would've been nice."

"Tell me again?" I try to smile.

"I want to announce something on our next assignment, and then sing Harry a love song. And hopefully, he'll forgive me?" 

"That sounds really nice Zayn," I whisper, and goes to lay down next to him. After playing a little with his hair, which he faintly argues that he doesn't want me to, he lets me do it anyway, and before we both know it, we're holding on to each other, and falls asleep. 

 

We both wake up, smiling softly at each other before we turn around, and seeing two very hurt lads standing in the room.

"Harry!" Zayn pushes me away as soon as he realises, and I fall on the floor with a 'thump' and an 'oof'. 

"So, you're not gay, but you cuddle up with Niall like the sun shines out of his arse?!" Harry yells. "And Niall, how could you?!" Harry tries to run, but luckily Liam stops him. 

"No," Liam whispers. "Tell Zayn what you wanted to say..." Liam still whispers, but I can still hear his every word. My heart is beating like never before, but my back and arse hurts from when I fell from the bed.

"Liam..." I make grabby hands at him, and although he pauses for a little bit, (his eyes still looks so _broken_ ), but he still comes running towards me. My heart is thumping away like never before, and when his scent surrounds me once more, I feel myself calming down. "Thank you," I murmur into his shoulder, once I'm standing up. 

"You're welcome," Liam whispers back. His biceps are so big though, and I mindlessly trail my fingers over it. When I look up from Liam's shoulder, I can see that Harry and Zayn are trying their best to eat each other's faces. 

"Blearugh," I make a disgusted face at the two of them, and stick my tongue out at them. 

"Want to go?" Liam whispers, and I just nod. Taking Liam's hand in mine, and as he intertwines his fingers with mine, my heart skips a beat. His hand is warm, and it's like he was almost made to be holding my hand. I feel all warm and fuzzy, and although I've just had a nap, I want nothing more than to lay down and cuddle with Liam. 

"I'm glad Harry and Zayn are snogging again," Liam smiled, although his smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"Me too," I smile back at him. I decide to just go for it, and ask him. "Liam?"

"Yes?"

"Uhm, you know... I-I kind of wondered something? That I wa-wanted to ask you?"

 "Okay? You know you can ask me anything, Niall." 

"Why are your eyes so sad? Is it because you fancy Harry? Or Zayn? Is it Louis You fancy Louis, don't you? I don't judge, I mean, they're all very attractive, not that I find them attractive, because I don't, although, I probably would..." I babbled on, trying my best to bite my tongue, but it doesn't work.

"Niall... calm down, yeah? Take a deep breath. What's this about my eyes being sad? Fancy Harry, Zayn? And Louis?? What are you on about?" 

"Your eyes.. They usually light up when you smile. And I heard you telling Harry that you're in love. I just, I wanted to know who you're in love with, that's all, I..." My words stopped when Liam suddenly was so very close, and I found it hard to comprehend what was even happening. 

"I thought.. it was obvious." His eyebrows were furrowed together, and it's really hot. 

"Obvious?" I was barely whispering now, Liam was surrounding my entire being.

"Yeah, obvious." He was coming closer, and we're almost, practically, chest to chest, his eyes never leaving mine. His eyes flicker down to my lips, just for a second, before they lock themselves on my eyes again. My heart wants to escape from its prison that is my chest, and just ... I don't really know, but I practically throw myself at Liam, closing the distance between us. Smashing my lips against his, licking at his bottom lip, wanting to be granted access to his mouth. A need deep within my soul that's a lot stronger than want, is a need to feel his tongue against my own. A moan is coming from either me or him, I don't really know, when he opened his mouth and granted me access.  

Liam is gently pushing me away, his breathing is uneven, and his eyes are glossy. "Wow.." he murmurs, a blush coating his cheeks.

My breathing isn't any better, to be fair. I gasp for air, trying to calm myself down. "Yeah, wow.." I agree with him. "You're a great kisser, Liam."

"I've never kissed anyone before - well, apart from Louis. I didn't enjoy my first kiss very much."

"Really? I wouldn't have known ... but Louis was my first kiss too. And I did enjoy it...." I saw Liam's face fell. "Like, I knew I would enjoy kissing.. I love kissing you.." Liam's face lit up by my admitting this. 

"I love kissing you too," he murmured, before his lips ghosted softly against mine.

 

**Harry**

 

Liam and I go into my room. Well, the room I shared with Zayn. I see Zayn and Niall into a tangled of limbs, arms and bodies crushed into each other. A sob escapes my lips, and I see that Liam is just as heartbroken as I am. Wow, he really does love Niall. 

"You can do this, Haz.." Liam encourages me. 

"Harry!" Zayn yelps, and he pushes Niall off himself, making Niall fall off the bed. He scrambles towards me, but I am angry and hurt, so I yell out my anger and frustration.

"Harry. I'm sorry. So sorry... I-I love you. I don't ever want to be without you again, I..." My face heat up, and I think Zayn notices, because he smirks. And then he just comes into my personal space, and everything is just Zayn. My brain shuts off, and all the hurt just.. goes away. He comes closer, and then I just smashes my lips against his. 

We full on make out, and Zayn is everything and everywhere. His hands are gripping onto my hips, and then they're in my hair, and we're both moaning into each other's mouths.

"Holy fuck, this've been the worst day of my life ..." Zayn murmurs when we finally pull off each other.

"Mine too," I agree.

"Be my boyfriend again?" Zayn smiles, and I smile back at him.

"I'd love that more than anything, Zayn." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seems quite rushed, but that's because it kind of was.. I'm so sorry. But yay, Niam finally happened, and Zarry are back together :) Next chapter, is the last one, and the epilogue. I'll publish it as soon as I finish writing it.


	17. Epilogue

**Liam**

 

  _I woke up, and saw that the sun was shining. Of course it was, because I litterally had the sun sleeping next to me. I didn't even realise what would happen when I got here, but I'm so glad I decided to jump at this opportunity. To be here next to him. That we were room mates. And now he was my boyfriend. Boyfriend. I've got a boyfriend. Me! It's so weird, like. I didn't even knew I liked boys until I met him. And now he was lying next to me. To just feel his heart beating, his warmth, and smell his unique smell. That was just... him._

"Mornin', darlin'." His voice is husky, and I fall ten feet further than I already have fallen. 

"Good morning, sunshine." I smile back at him, before I gently kiss him on the lips. It's great to wake up like this, limbs tangled with each other, and not be scared to kiss him or tell him how I feel about him. Not at all. "Did you sleep well? I just, I love you." 

"Mmhmm, I did, yeah. Love you too, Liam." He basically murmurs, eyes drooping slightly. "How 'bout you?" 

"I always sleep good when you're next to me." I do, it's true. I used to have terrible nightmares, but when Niall is next to me, it's like he keeps the nightmares away. 

"Yeah.. what's the time, anyway? I'm so tried.."

"Time to find out who Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh wants to work with, and get that record deal."

"I hope you'll get it, Liam." Niall murmurs, his breathing softly hitting my lips, and he gently presses his own lips against mine. I never want to get rid of the feeling and tingling feeling of whenever he's  looking at me, never less the way his lips feels against my own.  

"And I know you'll be the one to get it," I say, before I kiss him again. 

 

My heart beats harder, as we all stand on the stage. Someone has been kicked off, including the bullies that bullied Louis and Zayn. Not Niall's friend, though. Also, the guys Niall came here with, Sandy, Dan, Josh and Jon - due to musically indifference or something. I don't even know. 

"The winner is ... Siva Kaneswaran." Louis Walsh is the man who announces the winner, and Simon Cowell is shaking his head, like he wanted to fight this decision even now. 

"So, we didn't win," Niall whispers into my ear, as we're packing up our belongings. 

"No, I really thought you'd win though. Your songs always makes me cry, because you're so damn talented." 

"Hush you, Liam!" He laughs. "I love your voice, it's like listening to Michael Bublè, only slightly better."

 

"This wasn't what I expected!" None other than Louis Tomlinson is standing in front of us, and Niall gives a slight squeak, before he engulfed Louis into a tight hug. Jealousy is sparking up into my veins, but I try to will it down. Besides, Niall has been kissing me - and not Louis. 

"Ease up, lovebirds!" Zayn came too, and his grin was big. "Tommo!" Harry holds Zayn back, and whispers into his ear. Zayn nods, and then he's throwing himself at Niall and Louis, eyes sparkling. I take a look at Harry, and I realise he's trying to hold back his own jealousy. It made me smile, just because I felt quite close to Harry. Him and I, we were kind of driven by the same thing.

 

"May I have your attention, please?" Mister Cowell is standing on the stage, and we all look at him. He gives us all a smile and a wink. "Now, I may not have agreed with the jury's desicion, but ... I think all of us agreed that the five of you, you have something _unique and special_. I think, if you'd at least think about it, that the five of you, would form a band."

"All five of us?" I asked, voice hoarse with emotion. I could spend ... forever with Niall. I wouldn't have to go back to Wolverhampton, to my miserable life. I could be with Niall. I could kiss him whenever and wherever I wanted to."

"Indeed, Mister Payne. Indeed." Mister Cowell smiled, and I just looked at Niall. He was brightening up the world with how big his smile was.

"We don't have to leave!" He basically jumped 30 feet in the air, like, no joke. Well, obviously, he _can't_ jump 30 feet in the air, but let's just say, he jumped very high. Higher than anyone I've seen in my life. 

"Yeah, baby. We can spend forever together, if we want to." I smile back at him.

"Indeed, Liam. You know, I kind of found you creepy the first time I saw you.. but you grew on me. And now, I'm positive, 100% certain, that I love you."

"Well, I fell in love with you the first second I laid my eyes on you. I love you so much Niall."

We shared that confession with a kiss.

"So, what do you say lads? Shall we go for it?" Louis asked. I turned around, and saw that Zayn and Harry too, were in a liplock.

"Shall we take a vote?" Niall joked, and it seemed like the rest of the lads were in a joking mood as well. I sure as hell was.

"Uh.. I vote 'yes'!" Harry shouted, making all of us laugh at him.

"Me too," Zayn says, kissing Harry's cheek, making Harry blush.

"Me three," Louis says, his eyes sparkles.

"Liam?" Niall asks, his eyes wide open.

"My answer is the same as yours, Niall. You know that."

"Yay! It's unanimously!" Niall shouts, punching the air, and then he just flings himself at me. I let him, of course, putting my lips on his lips. 

"So, what shall we call ourselves?" Louis pondered.

"How about, 'Niall and the Potatoes'?" Niall laughed, making all of us laugh. He was just the sun, brightening up our lives, especially my life.

"What about... One Direction?" Harry asks, and we all just stare at him.

"I love it, babe." Zayn says, and kisses Harry's cheek.

"I don't know if I love it, but I do like it." Louis says, making Harry blush.

"I like it too." I smile at Harry, and he gives me a thumbs up.

"Well, I still say we call our band 'Niall and the Potatoes'..." Niall says, but Zayn, Harry and Louis just pull their tongues out at my poor baby, blowing him raspberries.

"Sorry babe, but it seems like you're outvoted."

"Yeah," Niall sighs. "But as long as I can go in One Direction with you, I'm always cool." Niall puts his lips on mine, and I know that with this boy by my side, and my friends - I know I can make it. I know we can make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe this is the end.. I just want to say, a huge thank you to everyone who pressed that kudos button, and a special thank you to Kadiebmore who was just so sweet to comment :)


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